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Monday, April 30, 2012
Fantaisie 55 years old Rga
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Antrus 53 years old ilut
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Sunday, April 29, 2012
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Profile URL: http://www.luvfree.com/profile247625.htm
Nickname: kennysweetheart
Sex: Man
Age: 18 y.o.
From: brooksville, Florida, United States 34602
More about me: i love to have fun!!! love music and sports and likes to have a manly man around lol. im from toronto canada but now i live in brooksvill fl, im currently a high school student.
I look for a man
Kisa 38 years old Arkhangelsk
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Turns Out Women Really Do Care About Facial Hair
Turns Out Women Really Do Care About Facial Hair
If it were completely up to you, would you shave? Most of you would probably say no. But,
unfortunately, it’s not completely up to you. In fact, it’s not really up to
you at all -- your girlfriends and wives all have opinions when it comes to the hair on
your face, and new research says they’d prefer you not have any -- ever. The study,
target="_blank">which was published in the journal Behavioral Ecology,
queried women from New Zealand and Canada to determine their preferences on men’s
facial hair. Those women responded that bearded men looked older and more aggressive.Over 200 women were presented with pictures of clean-shaven and bearded men making
different types of faces (normal and angry). The results showed that women found the
clean-shaven men significantly more attractive.Interestingly enough, a group
of men were also shown the same pictures, and they perceived the men with beards as having
more social status.While the Hulk Hogan ‘stache isn’t making a
comeback, there definitely seems to be a Hollywood trend of facial hair -- at least if you
use the hairy faces of guys like
Galifianakis, David Guetta and Brad Pitt as any kind of cultural barometer, which,
let’s be honest, you should be. In fact, we use Zach Galifianakis’ facial hair
as an oracle for predicting future world events, so its significance in terms of dictating
men’s grooming trends is all but a given.Regardless, women have made it
clear: While it’s not a universal rule, the majority of them find clean-shaven men
more attractive. Gentlemen, start your Norelcos. Or, you know, grab your rusty
blue Bic out of the shower. (Never use those! Why do you use those?)
If it were completely up to you, would you shave? Most of you would probably say no. But,
unfortunately, it’s not completely up to you. In fact, it’s not really up to
you at all -- your girlfriends and wives all have opinions when it comes to the hair on
your face, and new research says they’d prefer you not have any -- ever. The study,
target="_blank">which was published in the journal Behavioral Ecology,
queried women from New Zealand and Canada to determine their preferences on men’s
facial hair. Those women responded that bearded men looked older and more aggressive.Over 200 women were presented with pictures of clean-shaven and bearded men making
different types of faces (normal and angry). The results showed that women found the
clean-shaven men significantly more attractive.Interestingly enough, a group
of men were also shown the same pictures, and they perceived the men with beards as having
more social status.While the Hulk Hogan ‘stache isn’t making a
comeback, there definitely seems to be a Hollywood trend of facial hair -- at least if you
use the hairy faces of guys like
Galifianakis, David Guetta and Brad Pitt as any kind of cultural barometer, which,
let’s be honest, you should be. In fact, we use Zach Galifianakis’ facial hair
as an oracle for predicting future world events, so its significance in terms of dictating
men’s grooming trends is all but a given.Regardless, women have made it
clear: While it’s not a universal rule, the majority of them find clean-shaven men
more attractive. Gentlemen, start your Norelcos. Or, you know, grab your rusty
blue Bic out of the shower. (Never use those! Why do you use those?)
How To Deal With Her Ex
How To Deal With Her Ex
So, you’ve met someone who's great. You might end up in a relationship with her, but
there’s one problem: She’s best friends with
There’s always the possibility of baggage when you start dating someone new. A lot
of women come with bad friends, a lot of women come with a job they don't like, but
there's nothing more difficult for the male ego to deal with than a woman who comes with
her ex as a best friend.For some reason or another, a lot of men can't fathom
that another man was sexually intimate with their woman. And it's funny, too, because
women are very aware of this. Whenever you meet a woman who is really great friends with
her ex, she'll usually tell you, “Hey, Max and I are like best friends. Our
relationship didn't work out sexually at all, but we're still such really good
friends.”She does it because she understands the
ego and she knows that you're going to be freaking out during the course of the
relationship. So, you try to play it really cool, all the while you’re thinking to
yourself, “I'm not friends with any of my exes. I wish they were all floating in the
middle of the ocean. I couldn’t care less about them.”You try to
play it cool, but as the relationship progresses, you slowly stop acting so cool about it.
You get into a fight, and she calls her ex to talk about it, because he just knows her
really, really well. You don’t want to get jealous, but it really bugs you when the
ex calls and she giggles to herself for the next five minutes because of something he
said. It starts to eat away at you more and more.
So, what's the solution? It's easy. Befriend the enemy. I would get everybody
together for dinner and sit face to face with the man who once put his penis inside my
girl. Look at him and treat him as you would any other guy. Get to know him a little bit.
When you’re in the presence of your girl and her ex, you’ll see the dynamic
between them and realize that there’s nothing left. There should be no sexual energy
or sexual chemistry between them at all. In fact, I just look at him as a furry girlfriend
of hers.That's it. He’s just another friend of hers. At the end of the
night, shake hands, befriend him on Facebook, whatever. But be cool.You’ve got
to deal with it, guys. Now, don't forget -- we’re talking about the ex she's "just
friends" with. There are the exes out there we can put an asterisk next to: the ex they
still have feelings for. Those are the ones that you’ve got to nip in the bud from
the get-go, gentlemen.If she’s friends with the ex and you all go out
together and you see no sexual chemistry, then you're fine. But if you go out with her and
she's always talking about the ex, then she obviously still has feelings for him.
And that is something that you need to deal with -- but not with him, with her.
You’ve got to admit it: You picked wrong. You picked the wrong woman because you
weren't listening to the warning signs right from the beginning. The problem most people
face when dating is becoming too attached too quickly and not paying attention to the
signs. We tend to have the blinders on: “Oh, my God, she's absolutely perfect for
me.” Yeah, but she talks about her ex constantly, and she's always complaining about
the girl that he’s dating. You’ve got to open up your eyes, guys.
You need to sit her down and say, “Listen, I don't think you're over him at
all.” You need to confront her and you need to listen really carefully when she
responds. Pay attention to her
language and the words she uses. Do what you should have done in the beginning of the
relationship -- pay attention. If it seems like she’s not over her past
relationship, then your new relationship is going nowhere and you need to deal with that
like an adult. Dealing with a woman who has an ex in her life is not rocket
science, but it takes a lot of awareness and maturity. Cultivate the virtues necessary to
handle this like a man, and you separate yourself from the boys at home in unsatisfying
relationships who are crying about their woman and her furry friend.
So, you’ve met someone who's great. You might end up in a relationship with her, but
there’s one problem: She’s best friends with
There’s always the possibility of baggage when you start dating someone new. A lot
of women come with bad friends, a lot of women come with a job they don't like, but
there's nothing more difficult for the male ego to deal with than a woman who comes with
her ex as a best friend.For some reason or another, a lot of men can't fathom
that another man was sexually intimate with their woman. And it's funny, too, because
women are very aware of this. Whenever you meet a woman who is really great friends with
her ex, she'll usually tell you, “Hey, Max and I are like best friends. Our
relationship didn't work out sexually at all, but we're still such really good
friends.”She does it because she understands the
ego and she knows that you're going to be freaking out during the course of the
relationship. So, you try to play it really cool, all the while you’re thinking to
yourself, “I'm not friends with any of my exes. I wish they were all floating in the
middle of the ocean. I couldn’t care less about them.”You try to
play it cool, but as the relationship progresses, you slowly stop acting so cool about it.
You get into a fight, and she calls her ex to talk about it, because he just knows her
really, really well. You don’t want to get jealous, but it really bugs you when the
ex calls and she giggles to herself for the next five minutes because of something he
said. It starts to eat away at you more and more.
Befriend the enemy
So, what's the solution? It's easy. Befriend the enemy. I would get everybody
together for dinner and sit face to face with the man who once put his penis inside my
girl. Look at him and treat him as you would any other guy. Get to know him a little bit.
When you’re in the presence of your girl and her ex, you’ll see the dynamic
between them and realize that there’s nothing left. There should be no sexual energy
or sexual chemistry between them at all. In fact, I just look at him as a furry girlfriend
of hers.That's it. He’s just another friend of hers. At the end of the
night, shake hands, befriend him on Facebook, whatever. But be cool.You’ve got
to deal with it, guys. Now, don't forget -- we’re talking about the ex she's "just
friends" with. There are the exes out there we can put an asterisk next to: the ex they
still have feelings for. Those are the ones that you’ve got to nip in the bud from
the get-go, gentlemen.If she’s friends with the ex and you all go out
together and you see no sexual chemistry, then you're fine. But if you go out with her and
she's always talking about the ex, then she obviously still has feelings for him.
Bring It Up With Her, Not Him
And that is something that you need to deal with -- but not with him, with her.
You’ve got to admit it: You picked wrong. You picked the wrong woman because you
weren't listening to the warning signs right from the beginning. The problem most people
face when dating is becoming too attached too quickly and not paying attention to the
signs. We tend to have the blinders on: “Oh, my God, she's absolutely perfect for
me.” Yeah, but she talks about her ex constantly, and she's always complaining about
the girl that he’s dating. You’ve got to open up your eyes, guys.
You need to sit her down and say, “Listen, I don't think you're over him at
all.” You need to confront her and you need to listen really carefully when she
responds. Pay attention to her
language and the words she uses. Do what you should have done in the beginning of the
relationship -- pay attention. If it seems like she’s not over her past
relationship, then your new relationship is going nowhere and you need to deal with that
like an adult. Dealing with a woman who has an ex in her life is not rocket
science, but it takes a lot of awareness and maturity. Cultivate the virtues necessary to
handle this like a man, and you separate yourself from the boys at home in unsatisfying
relationships who are crying about their woman and her furry friend.
How To Get Out Of A Broken Relationship
How To Get Out Of A Broken Relationship
We all know what it feels like to know a relationship is on its last legs but neither
party seems willing to step up and end it. Maybe it's just easier to coast for a while and
hope things get better on their own, but you know better than to actually think that's a
reasonable strategy, right? Not speaking up when you know your relationship is over is
cowardly, and ultimately it's not fair to her either. Sometimes a relationship can
stagnate for so long that you can actually forget what it's like to feel totally alive and
happy. That dull routine becomes your new benchmark for normal life. Don't let this happen
to you. Rather than riding inertia's wave, take action. Yes, this is going to
be hard, but if you are sure you're not happy anymore, the painful experience is worth
it.
Out of respect for her, never tell your friends you're going to break up before telling
her it's over. It's a simple thing women consider sacred. The all too connected grapevine
is not the place she should or deserves to be told that you're no longer interested. You
could discuss some relationship problems you're having with your buddies, but your final
decision to break up with her should remain private. Use your judgment to
decide which day would be best to break the news to her. If she's very emotional and you
think that you'll break her heart, try to do it on a Friday. This will give her the
weekend to recover and spend time with friends. But if she's the type to plow through full
steam ahead, then perhaps Monday would be best. This will ensure that her busy workweek
will keep her mind off the breakup and you. Remember that there will be no
"perfect time" to end the relationship. The best thing to do is set a random Monday or
Friday to break up -- and stick to it.
Our second point in our list of seven breakup tips for a broken relationship is for you
to know and remember that it's not fair to end the relationship at your place, and neither
should you be forced to see a picture on her fridge of you and her hugging. Try to find
locale" title="a neutral locale">a neutral locale where both of you would be
comfortable to express your feelings, like at a park. At least there you can walk and
talk, or maybe even find a more secluded spot. A restaurant, on the other
hand, is a bad choice. If she makes a scene, there's no respectful recovery and no quick
way out. However, fear of embarrassment is never a reason to leave her in the middle of
nowhere. No matter how emotional and heated the conversation gets, there's no excuse for
risking her safety or yours.
If you've lost that loving feeling, be courteous and tell her face-to-face. Phone calls
and e-mail are fine for small talk, but this is a big issue. It's natural to want as much
distance as possible between you and her when you break the bad news, but in this case,
fight your instincts and have the decency to say it to her face. The fact that you're
reading our seven breakup tips for a broken relationship tells us that you're a bigger man
than the guy who
omni_link="dials and dumps" title="dials and dumps">dials and dumps.
We all know what it feels like to know a relationship is on its last legs but neither
party seems willing to step up and end it. Maybe it's just easier to coast for a while and
hope things get better on their own, but you know better than to actually think that's a
reasonable strategy, right? Not speaking up when you know your relationship is over is
cowardly, and ultimately it's not fair to her either. Sometimes a relationship can
stagnate for so long that you can actually forget what it's like to feel totally alive and
happy. That dull routine becomes your new benchmark for normal life. Don't let this happen
to you. Rather than riding inertia's wave, take action. Yes, this is going to
be hard, but if you are sure you're not happy anymore, the painful experience is worth
it.
She needs to be the first to know
Out of respect for her, never tell your friends you're going to break up before telling
her it's over. It's a simple thing women consider sacred. The all too connected grapevine
is not the place she should or deserves to be told that you're no longer interested. You
could discuss some relationship problems you're having with your buddies, but your final
decision to break up with her should remain private. Use your judgment to
decide which day would be best to break the news to her. If she's very emotional and you
think that you'll break her heart, try to do it on a Friday. This will give her the
weekend to recover and spend time with friends. But if she's the type to plow through full
steam ahead, then perhaps Monday would be best. This will ensure that her busy workweek
will keep her mind off the breakup and you. Remember that there will be no
"perfect time" to end the relationship. The best thing to do is set a random Monday or
Friday to break up -- and stick to it.
Choose a neutral location for the big talk
Our second point in our list of seven breakup tips for a broken relationship is for you
to know and remember that it's not fair to end the relationship at your place, and neither
should you be forced to see a picture on her fridge of you and her hugging. Try to find
locale" title="a neutral locale">a neutral locale where both of you would be
comfortable to express your feelings, like at a park. At least there you can walk and
talk, or maybe even find a more secluded spot. A restaurant, on the other
hand, is a bad choice. If she makes a scene, there's no respectful recovery and no quick
way out. However, fear of embarrassment is never a reason to leave her in the middle of
nowhere. No matter how emotional and heated the conversation gets, there's no excuse for
risking her safety or yours.
No man should ever send a break-up text ever again
If you've lost that loving feeling, be courteous and tell her face-to-face. Phone calls
and e-mail are fine for small talk, but this is a big issue. It's natural to want as much
distance as possible between you and her when you break the bad news, but in this case,
fight your instincts and have the decency to say it to her face. The fact that you're
reading our seven breakup tips for a broken relationship tells us that you're a bigger man
than the guy who
omni_link="dials and dumps" title="dials and dumps">dials and dumps.
How Romantic Are You Really Supposed To Be In Bed?
How Romantic Are You Really Supposed To Be In Bed?
For many of us,
aren't necessarily inextricably linked. Sex is fun, spontaneous and is in its own means
and ends. Then there's the whole lovemaking side of things, where you and your partner are
essentially expressing your feelings for each other physically. You're not always in the
mood for "feelings sex" -- sometimes you just want to get it on. On the other hand, she
doesn't always feel like having a little quick-n-dirty back alley-style sex. Hey --
relationships require compromise, and what you're in the mood for is often not at all
mirrored by the desires of your partner. Here are some guidelines for striking the balance
in the long term between getting your physical desires met while also satisfying her need
for some romance in the sack.
When you're in a committed, long-term relationship, some of the magic inevitably starts
to wane. When this happens, the rest of your life starts finding it's way back to the top
of your list of priorities. Projects at work you've been neglecting begin to take on new
importance, much to her chagrin. If you're smart, you've already incorporated “date
night” into your relationship; a night where work, your friends and the entirety of
the outside world take a back seat to the wonderfulness that is your girlfriend or
wife. Date night is when you focus on romance. Doors are opened, roses
are purchased and pedestals are populated with that woman who is far too good for you. On
these nights, show her the tenderness that she remembers from that first week you started
seeing each other. Contrary to popular belief, women aren't soul-crushing packages of
complete irrationality, but they do require a periodic relationship recharge.
Your girlfriend has
women you may or may not care for. Really, though, what do you care? She's certainly
entitled to a little time to kick back with her girlfriends. In fact, on a night that she
has plans to go out without you, you are faced with the perfect opportunity for some
spontaneous sex. Women like it when you're spontaneous and they like
feeling so attractive that you can't keep your hands off of them. When she gets back from
the night on the town, take advantage of some detached, physical sex. She's been out
listening to problems and aspirations of her friends, and will likely be in the mood to
get down. Be ready.
Women love the holidays. The world is, supposedly, filled with good cheer and the malls
are filled with good sales. The weather presents a perfect excuse to cuddle up on the
couch with you and a glass of
a perfect opportunity to reinvigorate your relationship and restore any fading romance. Try going ice skating. If you're a good skater, all the better, but if
you're a failure, the awkward flailing around will at least make her laugh (and laughter
is an absurdly cheap
An argument is a supernova of passion, hurt emotions and feelings of strength. Both you
and your girlfriend are upset, hormones are raging and your blood pressure is up.
Basically, you've set yourselves up for a fight with no physical relief. Obviously, you're
not going to fight, which means it is time for some lovin'. Sex,
especially physical, dirty sex, is a spectacular relief to that fight-or-flight mentality.
Make-up sex is legendary when it comes to relief and enjoyment. Obviously, you can't spark
a fight just for the make-up sex, but you can absolutely take advantage of an organic
fight when it arises. Our final points on how to balance sex and romance...
For many of us,
aren't necessarily inextricably linked. Sex is fun, spontaneous and is in its own means
and ends. Then there's the whole lovemaking side of things, where you and your partner are
essentially expressing your feelings for each other physically. You're not always in the
mood for "feelings sex" -- sometimes you just want to get it on. On the other hand, she
doesn't always feel like having a little quick-n-dirty back alley-style sex. Hey --
relationships require compromise, and what you're in the mood for is often not at all
mirrored by the desires of your partner. Here are some guidelines for striking the balance
in the long term between getting your physical desires met while also satisfying her need
for some romance in the sack.
Date night = romance
When you're in a committed, long-term relationship, some of the magic inevitably starts
to wane. When this happens, the rest of your life starts finding it's way back to the top
of your list of priorities. Projects at work you've been neglecting begin to take on new
importance, much to her chagrin. If you're smart, you've already incorporated “date
night” into your relationship; a night where work, your friends and the entirety of
the outside world take a back seat to the wonderfulness that is your girlfriend or
wife. Date night is when you focus on romance. Doors are opened, roses
are purchased and pedestals are populated with that woman who is far too good for you. On
these nights, show her the tenderness that she remembers from that first week you started
seeing each other. Contrary to popular belief, women aren't soul-crushing packages of
complete irrationality, but they do require a periodic relationship recharge.
Girls’ night out = sex
Your girlfriend has
women you may or may not care for. Really, though, what do you care? She's certainly
entitled to a little time to kick back with her girlfriends. In fact, on a night that she
has plans to go out without you, you are faced with the perfect opportunity for some
spontaneous sex. Women like it when you're spontaneous and they like
feeling so attractive that you can't keep your hands off of them. When she gets back from
the night on the town, take advantage of some detached, physical sex. She's been out
listening to problems and aspirations of her friends, and will likely be in the mood to
get down. Be ready.
Holidays = romance
Women love the holidays. The world is, supposedly, filled with good cheer and the malls
are filled with good sales. The weather presents a perfect excuse to cuddle up on the
couch with you and a glass of
a perfect opportunity to reinvigorate your relationship and restore any fading romance. Try going ice skating. If you're a good skater, all the better, but if
you're a failure, the awkward flailing around will at least make her laugh (and laughter
is an absurdly cheap
Post-argument = sex
An argument is a supernova of passion, hurt emotions and feelings of strength. Both you
and your girlfriend are upset, hormones are raging and your blood pressure is up.
Basically, you've set yourselves up for a fight with no physical relief. Obviously, you're
not going to fight, which means it is time for some lovin'. Sex,
especially physical, dirty sex, is a spectacular relief to that fight-or-flight mentality.
Make-up sex is legendary when it comes to relief and enjoyment. Obviously, you can't spark
a fight just for the make-up sex, but you can absolutely take advantage of an organic
fight when it arises. Our final points on how to balance sex and romance...
Why Your Girl Is Probably Into Your Buddies
Why Your Girl Is Probably Into Your Buddies
Don’t take her or your relationship for granted. People are always evolving and
changing, which means relationships are, too. Continue to learn about her. Do things she
likes to do and appreciate the passion she has for things she enjoys and believes in. Get
to know her
and family. That way she knows you are serious about the relationship. If she thinks
you’re a keeper, she will be less likely to have wandering eyes.Regardless of what you do, she still may be checking out your friends. That
doesn’t mean she’s not in love with you; it just means she thinks your friends
are hot. It’s up to you to make sure those sideway glances don’t turn into
anything more. If she’s the
there’s nothing you can do to ultimately change that. But if she’s just
feeling like your relationship is lagging, strengthening it will work wonders to keep her
eyes on the prize that is you.As for my crush on that hot friend of my
ex’s? He turned out to be a little too much of a badass. He got arrested for a bar
fight, was continually drunk and ended up going to jail. I never hooked up with him, and I
learned my lesson very quickly. Sometimes the grass is not always greener on the other
side.For more insight into the female mind, check out
href="http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_500/561_the-six-sixes.html">the six-step
method women use to judge men.
Grow Together
Don’t take her or your relationship for granted. People are always evolving and
changing, which means relationships are, too. Continue to learn about her. Do things she
likes to do and appreciate the passion she has for things she enjoys and believes in. Get
to know her
and family. That way she knows you are serious about the relationship. If she thinks
you’re a keeper, she will be less likely to have wandering eyes.Regardless of what you do, she still may be checking out your friends. That
doesn’t mean she’s not in love with you; it just means she thinks your friends
are hot. It’s up to you to make sure those sideway glances don’t turn into
anything more. If she’s the
there’s nothing you can do to ultimately change that. But if she’s just
feeling like your relationship is lagging, strengthening it will work wonders to keep her
eyes on the prize that is you.As for my crush on that hot friend of my
ex’s? He turned out to be a little too much of a badass. He got arrested for a bar
fight, was continually drunk and ended up going to jail. I never hooked up with him, and I
learned my lesson very quickly. Sometimes the grass is not always greener on the other
side.For more insight into the female mind, check out
href="http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_500/561_the-six-sixes.html">the six-step
method women use to judge men.
6 Ways To Stop Screwing Up With Women
6 Ways To Stop Screwing Up With Women
This article was originally published on href="http://goodmenproject.com/">The Good Men Project.Jeffrey Platts
offers advice on what to do when your conversations with the opposite sex leave something
to be desired.I used to be a horrible listener. I was so afraid of what a
woman thought of me that I was always in my head trying to micromanage the entire
conversation. I would stutter. I asked dumb things like “What is your favorite kind
of horse?” Now, as a life and authentic relating coach, circling facilitator and
writer, I get asked a lot by guys on how they can have better connections with women.
These six simple tips are the most powerful I’ve experienced in the past few
years.1. Be fully presentI was that guy. I would be
sitting with a beautiful woman in a café, but my eyes would dart around the room
at all the other ladies passing by. One day a woman friend said to me “You know,
it’s totally obvious you’re scoping out all those women. It really has me
feeling ugly and not appreciated.” My heart sank. I had no idea that I was creating
that effect on her. Like most guys, I thought I was being discreet with my Ray-Bans. Make
sure your attention is on the woman in front of you. Not on trying
to figure out what cool thing to say or what to do next. Do your best to be present to
and aware of what’s going on in your body, her body and also the energetic
connection between you and her. Create that magic bubble where
it feels as if there is no one else but the two of you.2. Actually
give a sh*t about herWhether you just met her two minutes or 12 years ago,
actually care about her and genuinely want to get to know about
her world. Yes, own your
attraction to her, but also bring your heart to the interaction. Connect with your
curiosity about who she is -- her dreams, fears, insecurities, quirks and gifts. Be more
concerned about the quality of the connection rather than faking interest as a way to get
somewhere or to get something out of her. She is not a means to an end (sex, a number, a
date). She
is a world to explore. So is the connection.3. Appreciate and
celebrate who and where she is in the moment A woman crying used to scare me. I
would get anxious and not know what to do. One day I bumped into my good female friend in
the street. She started talking about her href="http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith/25_dating_advice.html">breakup. I just
stood with her on the sidewalk and gently listened as she shared her story with teary
eyes. After 20 minutes, she said “Wow, that was so healing for me. Thank you so
much for listening.” I finally got it. Me simply being with her was more effective
than me trying to fix or distract her. Whatever comes up for her in your interaction,
celebrate it. Something fun and juicy comes up? Dive in and celebrate that. She mentions
something emotional or uncomfortable from her past? Stay in the moment with her.
Don’t try to change the subject to get to a “happier” topic. Never try
to “fix it” for her. If anything, ask her to say more about it so you can
explore it together. If you actually care about her, then you want to get to know all
of her, not just the bubbly, sexy and socially presentable side.
This article was originally published on href="http://goodmenproject.com/">The Good Men Project.Jeffrey Platts
offers advice on what to do when your conversations with the opposite sex leave something
to be desired.I used to be a horrible listener. I was so afraid of what a
woman thought of me that I was always in my head trying to micromanage the entire
conversation. I would stutter. I asked dumb things like “What is your favorite kind
of horse?” Now, as a life and authentic relating coach, circling facilitator and
writer, I get asked a lot by guys on how they can have better connections with women.
These six simple tips are the most powerful I’ve experienced in the past few
years.1. Be fully presentI was that guy. I would be
sitting with a beautiful woman in a café, but my eyes would dart around the room
at all the other ladies passing by. One day a woman friend said to me “You know,
it’s totally obvious you’re scoping out all those women. It really has me
feeling ugly and not appreciated.” My heart sank. I had no idea that I was creating
that effect on her. Like most guys, I thought I was being discreet with my Ray-Bans. Make
sure your attention is on the woman in front of you. Not on trying
to figure out what cool thing to say or what to do next. Do your best to be present to
and aware of what’s going on in your body, her body and also the energetic
connection between you and her. Create that magic bubble where
it feels as if there is no one else but the two of you.2. Actually
give a sh*t about herWhether you just met her two minutes or 12 years ago,
actually care about her and genuinely want to get to know about
her world. Yes, own your
attraction to her, but also bring your heart to the interaction. Connect with your
curiosity about who she is -- her dreams, fears, insecurities, quirks and gifts. Be more
concerned about the quality of the connection rather than faking interest as a way to get
somewhere or to get something out of her. She is not a means to an end (sex, a number, a
date). She
is a world to explore. So is the connection.3. Appreciate and
celebrate who and where she is in the moment A woman crying used to scare me. I
would get anxious and not know what to do. One day I bumped into my good female friend in
the street. She started talking about her href="http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith/25_dating_advice.html">breakup. I just
stood with her on the sidewalk and gently listened as she shared her story with teary
eyes. After 20 minutes, she said “Wow, that was so healing for me. Thank you so
much for listening.” I finally got it. Me simply being with her was more effective
than me trying to fix or distract her. Whatever comes up for her in your interaction,
celebrate it. Something fun and juicy comes up? Dive in and celebrate that. She mentions
something emotional or uncomfortable from her past? Stay in the moment with her.
Don’t try to change the subject to get to a “happier” topic. Never try
to “fix it” for her. If anything, ask her to say more about it so you can
explore it together. If you actually care about her, then you want to get to know all
of her, not just the bubbly, sexy and socially presentable side.
If You Could Ask Women Anything, What Would It Be?
If You Could Ask Women Anything, What Would It Be?
It's no secret that women are hard to understand. We can never be sure what'll turn them
on, turn them off or arouse their fury. And we really don't know what they're saying when
guys aren't around.But, readers, we're on a mission to find out. We're filming
our first roundtable chat with a group of girls who are willing to answer and debate
anything about
and
-- but it will only work if we get really good, thought-provoking questions. So, please
don't email us with "Do you like it in the ass?"If you could ask anything,
what would it be?Email us at editorial@askmen.com.
It's no secret that women are hard to understand. We can never be sure what'll turn them
on, turn them off or arouse their fury. And we really don't know what they're saying when
guys aren't around.But, readers, we're on a mission to find out. We're filming
our first roundtable chat with a group of girls who are willing to answer and debate
anything about
and
-- but it will only work if we get really good, thought-provoking questions. So, please
don't email us with "Do you like it in the ass?"If you could ask anything,
what would it be?Email us at editorial@askmen.com.
How To Win An Argument With Your Girlfriend
How To Win An Argument With Your Girlfriend
This article, by Chloe Anderson,
was originally published on href="http://www.modernman.com/how-to-win-an-argument-with-your-girlfriend/">Modern
Man.You
are going to get into it with your significant other every so often. It’s no fun
for either party, but as a woman, I’m willing to concede that it’s even less
fun for men. Why? Because women can express their emotions like it’s nobody’s
business. And guys? Not so much.And since we already have the upper
hand, I thought it only fair to share a few tricks to help you emerge victorious from
battle… or at least with fewer scars than usual.
There is nothing more inflammatory than the r-word. Especially when it’s
flippantly thrown in the face of a woman who is already on her last good nerve. And since
it’s impossible to rationally discuss an issue with a red-eyed, fire-breathing
dragon (which is pretty much what I turn into whenever a guy says that word to me), I
urge you to avoid this expression and any variation of it -- settle down, take it easy,
etc. -- at all costs.
Instead of saying something like, “You don’t appreciate me,”
try, “I feel like I’m not being heard when …” or “I
don’t feel appreciated when …” It may seem like a small thing, but
sentences that start with “I” sound much less accusatory than ones that start
with “you.” And when your girlfriend doesn’t feel like she’s
being verbally attacked, she’ll be more open to hearing what you have to say. And
that may even lead to her apologizing. Maybe.
Every woman’s greatest fear in life, aside from dating an axe murderer and
the possibility that her daily non-fat latte actually contains lard, is getting stuck
with the “crazy” label. So even if all of your buddies think that she’s
being totally ridiculous for expecting you to do something like text her
while you’re hanging out with them, she doesn’t need to know they think
she’s nuts. A) They’re your friends, so of course they’re going to have
your back. B) Telling her will only make her feel awkward around the friends you name the
next time she sees them. And C) It’s guaranteed to drag your argument into
overtime -- and that severely damages your chances of coming out on top.
The United States of America does not respond kindly to threats, and neither does
your girlfriend. So if you give her an ultimatum -- “Unfriend your ex and quit
following him on Twitter or we’re so done” -- you better be prepared to
follow through. Women are nasty mental ninjas who will call your bluff, which will either
force you to follow through and leave, or back down with your balls in hand.
File this tip away, because if you don’t need it soon, you’ll
definitely find use for it down the road. When a woman gives you the stink-eye and
hisses, “You don’t even know what you did, do you?” Lie. Nod your head,
and ask her if she wants to talk about it, or if she needs time to cool off. It’s
like those “Need a moment?” Twix commercials -- she’ll be so caught off
guard by your response that she’ll falter, giving you a few precious seconds to
rack your brain, identify your offense, and get a stronger game plan in order.Check out more at ModernMan.com:
target="_blank">What Her Underwear Style Says About Her Style In Bed
target="_blank">How To Tell If She’s Faking It
Boost Your Sex Drive
This article, by Chloe Anderson,
was originally published on href="http://www.modernman.com/how-to-win-an-argument-with-your-girlfriend/">Modern
Man.You
are going to get into it with your significant other every so often. It’s no fun
for either party, but as a woman, I’m willing to concede that it’s even less
fun for men. Why? Because women can express their emotions like it’s nobody’s
business. And guys? Not so much.And since we already have the upper
hand, I thought it only fair to share a few tricks to help you emerge victorious from
battle… or at least with fewer scars than usual.
Don’t Tell Her to “Relax”
There is nothing more inflammatory than the r-word. Especially when it’s
flippantly thrown in the face of a woman who is already on her last good nerve. And since
it’s impossible to rationally discuss an issue with a red-eyed, fire-breathing
dragon (which is pretty much what I turn into whenever a guy says that word to me), I
urge you to avoid this expression and any variation of it -- settle down, take it easy,
etc. -- at all costs.
Talk In the First Person
Instead of saying something like, “You don’t appreciate me,”
try, “I feel like I’m not being heard when …” or “I
don’t feel appreciated when …” It may seem like a small thing, but
sentences that start with “I” sound much less accusatory than ones that start
with “you.” And when your girlfriend doesn’t feel like she’s
being verbally attacked, she’ll be more open to hearing what you have to say. And
that may even lead to her apologizing. Maybe.
Leave Your Friends’ Opinions Out of It
Every woman’s greatest fear in life, aside from dating an axe murderer and
the possibility that her daily non-fat latte actually contains lard, is getting stuck
with the “crazy” label. So even if all of your buddies think that she’s
being totally ridiculous for expecting you to do something like text her
while you’re hanging out with them, she doesn’t need to know they think
she’s nuts. A) They’re your friends, so of course they’re going to have
your back. B) Telling her will only make her feel awkward around the friends you name the
next time she sees them. And C) It’s guaranteed to drag your argument into
overtime -- and that severely damages your chances of coming out on top.
Don’t Make Empty Threats
The United States of America does not respond kindly to threats, and neither does
your girlfriend. So if you give her an ultimatum -- “Unfriend your ex and quit
following him on Twitter or we’re so done” -- you better be prepared to
follow through. Women are nasty mental ninjas who will call your bluff, which will either
force you to follow through and leave, or back down with your balls in hand.
Fib If You Need To
File this tip away, because if you don’t need it soon, you’ll
definitely find use for it down the road. When a woman gives you the stink-eye and
hisses, “You don’t even know what you did, do you?” Lie. Nod your head,
and ask her if she wants to talk about it, or if she needs time to cool off. It’s
like those “Need a moment?” Twix commercials -- she’ll be so caught off
guard by your response that she’ll falter, giving you a few precious seconds to
rack your brain, identify your offense, and get a stronger game plan in order.Check out more at ModernMan.com:
target="_blank">What Her Underwear Style Says About Her Style In Bed
target="_blank">How To Tell If She’s Faking It
Boost Your Sex Drive
10 Insights Into Raising Boys
10 Insights Into Raising Boys
My brother and I once convinced his two sons and my older boy, when they were all around
the age of 10, that they really needed to build a structure out of rocks. The rocks were
on one side of a beach, but the perfect spot where the structure had to be built,
according to our sage advice, was on the other side of the beach. Each stone weighed
between 10 and 30 pounds. The boys started moving the boulders one by one, working
together to lift the heaviest ones. My brother and I set up our beach chairs midway from
the rock pile to building site. We read the paper most of the morning while the boys tired
themselves out moving rocks and then assembling a tremendous cathedral. By lunch they were
tired and happy, and my brother and I had enjoyed a peaceful morning.
-- perhaps even more than girls -- put themselves under extreme pressure to perform in
school, in sports, and in social situations. They talk about it less, so the sting of
failure can run even more deeply than with girls. With boys it’s important to
emphasize the lessons to be gained from failure, instead of trying to win at all costs,
and to emphasize the development of the whole boy. Too often in our culture, boys are
pushed to become one-dimensional robots. Goodness isn’t about winning at youth
soccer or having the most friends or being the smartest kid in class; it’s also
about being kind. That’s something as a mom that you can particularly help your son
understand.
I know there are way more options for dressing little girls than little boys, so the
tendency might be to just throw jeans and a t-shirt on your son and forget about it. But
you better make sure they are the right jeans and the right t-shirt. The only consistent
battle I have had with my sons is over what they wear. It matters way more to them than I
ever would have imagined. They want to look cool; they want to be comfortable (pants that
are tight but not too tight, warm and yet breathable). I do draw the line with clothes
that have already been worn two days in a row, but I don’t discount the importance
of fashion to my kindergartener.
I have noticed that my daughter lights up when she enters a crowd, whether family or
strangers. Mass humanity is something that gives her energy. With my boys, and, frankly,
for me too, it’s the opposite. They get shy and tend to hide behind my legs. I try
to protect them from these situations and not push them beyond their limitations.
Because boys are so active, it’s hard to get them to sit still. The best time of
day is the 10 minutes before they go to sleep. Crawl into bed with them, read books and
hold them while they fall off to sleep. If you don’t believe in God, you will once
you have lain next to your overactive son while his body goes limp next to you, and he
ever so faintly begins to snore.
Pointless physical activity is perfect
My brother and I once convinced his two sons and my older boy, when they were all around
the age of 10, that they really needed to build a structure out of rocks. The rocks were
on one side of a beach, but the perfect spot where the structure had to be built,
according to our sage advice, was on the other side of the beach. Each stone weighed
between 10 and 30 pounds. The boys started moving the boulders one by one, working
together to lift the heaviest ones. My brother and I set up our beach chairs midway from
the rock pile to building site. We read the paper most of the morning while the boys tired
themselves out moving rocks and then assembling a tremendous cathedral. By lunch they were
tired and happy, and my brother and I had enjoyed a peaceful morning.
Winning does matter, but less than you think
-- perhaps even more than girls -- put themselves under extreme pressure to perform in
school, in sports, and in social situations. They talk about it less, so the sting of
failure can run even more deeply than with girls. With boys it’s important to
emphasize the lessons to be gained from failure, instead of trying to win at all costs,
and to emphasize the development of the whole boy. Too often in our culture, boys are
pushed to become one-dimensional robots. Goodness isn’t about winning at youth
soccer or having the most friends or being the smartest kid in class; it’s also
about being kind. That’s something as a mom that you can particularly help your son
understand.
Clothes matter
I know there are way more options for dressing little girls than little boys, so the
tendency might be to just throw jeans and a t-shirt on your son and forget about it. But
you better make sure they are the right jeans and the right t-shirt. The only consistent
battle I have had with my sons is over what they wear. It matters way more to them than I
ever would have imagined. They want to look cool; they want to be comfortable (pants that
are tight but not too tight, warm and yet breathable). I do draw the line with clothes
that have already been worn two days in a row, but I don’t discount the importance
of fashion to my kindergartener.
Crowds, not so much
I have noticed that my daughter lights up when she enters a crowd, whether family or
strangers. Mass humanity is something that gives her energy. With my boys, and, frankly,
for me too, it’s the opposite. They get shy and tend to hide behind my legs. I try
to protect them from these situations and not push them beyond their limitations.
Bedtime is sacred
Because boys are so active, it’s hard to get them to sit still. The best time of
day is the 10 minutes before they go to sleep. Crawl into bed with them, read books and
hold them while they fall off to sleep. If you don’t believe in God, you will once
you have lain next to your overactive son while his body goes limp next to you, and he
ever so faintly begins to snore.
Is Paying For It Always Wrong?
Is Paying For It Always Wrong?
Hi Doc Chaves,My sex life is down the tubes. My wife and I have two kids and
a newborn, all under the age of 4. The infant sleeps with us in our bed, the 3-year-old
in a crib in our bedroom, and the 4-year-old has her own room. I can’t even
remember the last time we had sex or even had time to ourselves to be intimate and we
never seem to touch or be close anymore. I just need a break. What to do?-
BradIt sounds like you’re personally starting up day care center at
your house. Three pregnancies in under five years at least tells me you’ve had some
sex. It’s quite common for the
parenting tasks to interfere with keeping the sexual flame lit and burning. What most
people struggle with is creating a routine and taking those first steps toward balancing
their roles as sexual partners with their roles as parents. First, consider
the environment you’ve created. It’s like Sesame Street in your room
and the kids almost outnumber the adults. Adults need their play space, too. Although I
don’t know many details about things such as the children’s health, your
living space, etc., it’s important to create and preserve your adult environment,
which may eventually include having the 3- and 4-year-olds become roommates. I’ve heard all the excuses: the kids fuss and cry when transitioning, they want
to sleep with/near mommy and daddy, they’re not ready, and so on. Part of parenting
is preparing them for the many changes and transitions life will offer and even nudging
them forward appropriately when they're resistant. Most kids crave structure. It’s
up to you to create that for them and they’ll usually adapt if it’s a gentle,
smooth transaction. Most parenting books dealing with separation anxiety describe
techniques and exercises on how to do this in a supportive manner. Now we're
down to one baby left in the adult room, and this baby will also need to find new
permanent roommates. Eventually, you will need to a create a separate space to allow the
parents their partner room. I have two words for you: bunk beds.Notice I
called your bedroom the “partner room.” You need to create that space
together and make it blossom. Sometimes it’s a safe space for a break, nap, some
recharge time, and other times it’s your intimate space for making love and
recapturing connection. There are going to be other aspects to consider with
sex
after pregnancy. Does she feel sexy if there were any changes to her body in addition
to any postpartum libido/hormonal changes? Also, your involvement in child rearing,
household chores and partner support are very important; take a look at yourself and what
you’re doing to see if there are ways to enhance your daddy and partner roles. Lastly, it’s always a good idea to communicate your needs, listen and
encourage her to voice her needs, and have an open dialogue about what can enhance your
lives as parents and partners. A good topic of conversation to consider is how you are
modeling affection and partner relationships to your children. Many adults who struggle
with intimacy, affection and attachment learned this through observing their parents. Set
a good example of parent/child boundaries and model loving and affectionate partner
intimacy. The kids will benefit from that more than you know.
What Do You Do When Parenting Interferes With Sex?
Hi Doc Chaves,My sex life is down the tubes. My wife and I have two kids and
a newborn, all under the age of 4. The infant sleeps with us in our bed, the 3-year-old
in a crib in our bedroom, and the 4-year-old has her own room. I can’t even
remember the last time we had sex or even had time to ourselves to be intimate and we
never seem to touch or be close anymore. I just need a break. What to do?-
BradIt sounds like you’re personally starting up day care center at
your house. Three pregnancies in under five years at least tells me you’ve had some
sex. It’s quite common for the
parenting tasks to interfere with keeping the sexual flame lit and burning. What most
people struggle with is creating a routine and taking those first steps toward balancing
their roles as sexual partners with their roles as parents. First, consider
the environment you’ve created. It’s like Sesame Street in your room
and the kids almost outnumber the adults. Adults need their play space, too. Although I
don’t know many details about things such as the children’s health, your
living space, etc., it’s important to create and preserve your adult environment,
which may eventually include having the 3- and 4-year-olds become roommates. I’ve heard all the excuses: the kids fuss and cry when transitioning, they want
to sleep with/near mommy and daddy, they’re not ready, and so on. Part of parenting
is preparing them for the many changes and transitions life will offer and even nudging
them forward appropriately when they're resistant. Most kids crave structure. It’s
up to you to create that for them and they’ll usually adapt if it’s a gentle,
smooth transaction. Most parenting books dealing with separation anxiety describe
techniques and exercises on how to do this in a supportive manner. Now we're
down to one baby left in the adult room, and this baby will also need to find new
permanent roommates. Eventually, you will need to a create a separate space to allow the
parents their partner room. I have two words for you: bunk beds.Notice I
called your bedroom the “partner room.” You need to create that space
together and make it blossom. Sometimes it’s a safe space for a break, nap, some
recharge time, and other times it’s your intimate space for making love and
recapturing connection. There are going to be other aspects to consider with
sex
after pregnancy. Does she feel sexy if there were any changes to her body in addition
to any postpartum libido/hormonal changes? Also, your involvement in child rearing,
household chores and partner support are very important; take a look at yourself and what
you’re doing to see if there are ways to enhance your daddy and partner roles. Lastly, it’s always a good idea to communicate your needs, listen and
encourage her to voice her needs, and have an open dialogue about what can enhance your
lives as parents and partners. A good topic of conversation to consider is how you are
modeling affection and partner relationships to your children. Many adults who struggle
with intimacy, affection and attachment learned this through observing their parents. Set
a good example of parent/child boundaries and model loving and affectionate partner
intimacy. The kids will benefit from that more than you know.
Your Weekly Peek Into The Mind Of A Hot Woman
Your Weekly Peek Into The Mind Of A Hot Woman
Here at AskMen, we’re all about helping guys. But sometimes advice from one dude
to another can only go so far. That’s why we decided to go straight to the source to
find out what the world's hottest women actually expect from us.This
week, we asked the model, dancer
and actress Shay Maria what she looks for in guys. Hopefully her answers make the
female sex a little less mysterious. If anything, we've learned from Shay that not all
girls abide by the traditional rules.What’s the biggest
grooming mistake a guy could make?Uh, boys, please don't shave your
arms or legs.What’s sexier -- the macho alpha male or scruffy
beta guy?Scruffy beta. Who should pay on the
first date?I probably would.Would you care if a
guy picked you up in a garbage-strewn beater?Probably. I can't stand
smelly things.What's the best compliment you've ever
received?That my personality was as beautiful as my surface -- if not
more beautiful. That guy was so sweet.Biggest turn-on in a
guy?My guy's gotta be funny and have a cute
smile.Biggest turnoff?If your breath smells
bad. What jewelry is acceptable for men to wear? Watches.Would you date a guy who makes less than it would
take to comfortably support a family?Depends if I am truly in love
with him. If you have love, you don't need anything else.One final
piece of advice for men in five words or less?Be YOU -- nothing less
and nothing more. Follow Shay href="https://twitter.com/#!/ShayMariaa">@ShayMariaa
Here at AskMen, we’re all about helping guys. But sometimes advice from one dude
to another can only go so far. That’s why we decided to go straight to the source to
find out what the world's hottest women actually expect from us.This
week, we asked the model, dancer
and actress Shay Maria what she looks for in guys. Hopefully her answers make the
female sex a little less mysterious. If anything, we've learned from Shay that not all
girls abide by the traditional rules.What’s the biggest
grooming mistake a guy could make?Uh, boys, please don't shave your
arms or legs.What’s sexier -- the macho alpha male or scruffy
beta guy?Scruffy beta. Who should pay on the
first date?I probably would.Would you care if a
guy picked you up in a garbage-strewn beater?Probably. I can't stand
smelly things.What's the best compliment you've ever
received?That my personality was as beautiful as my surface -- if not
more beautiful. That guy was so sweet.Biggest turn-on in a
guy?My guy's gotta be funny and have a cute
smile.Biggest turnoff?If your breath smells
bad. What jewelry is acceptable for men to wear? Watches.Would you date a guy who makes less than it would
take to comfortably support a family?Depends if I am truly in love
with him. If you have love, you don't need anything else.One final
piece of advice for men in five words or less?Be YOU -- nothing less
and nothing more. Follow Shay href="https://twitter.com/#!/ShayMariaa">@ShayMariaa
How To Pick Up Girls On The Subway
How To Pick Up Girls On The Subway
"Is that any good?" I say to the
confused target. I don't turn my head or
point to a specific show. "I'm sorry, are you talking to me?" she responds.
"Yes indeed, now, have you seen this show? I might go," I say without really looking
at her yet. We need to
discussion for our faces to be turned. She is neither warming to my approach nor cold
to it. Just mildly tempted and slightly concerned that I may be a bit mental.
"Do you usually talk rubbish to strangers?"
Yes, you're thinking what I'm thinking aren't
you? I'm in there, she's a bit of a "banter-babe" who likes to poke fun and
playfully argue. Oh my, I can see us tickling each other into submission with
only our sheets to cover us in no time. I smile to myself, and turn to what I expect will
be a cheeky grin with a raised eyebrow. This was not the case, as I turn
to see her place her second earphone from her loud iPod into her
ear. Cheeky doesn't work in London, a place where
boring modern-chick lit novels are set and couples hold hands whilst taking
arms length pictures of themselves near the Thames river.Awkwardness, shyness and borderline Aspergers is what I need here. No bullish
penis-swinging antics, just an awkward moment turned into light chatting is
the key. I have a plan. A variety of unintentional
mishaps is pretty much standard procedure in cramped conditions, but I've
never seen them as a chance to pick up. They are the only things that ever spark
interaction in situations such as this, and even if that is only a nervous
shudder of "Oh I'm sorry," it's still something. I stand in the middle
of a crammed train, holding onto an upright bar and bracing for the journey,
but it seems that a rather pretty brunette has her hand about two inches below mine on
the bar. I look away, and "unintentionally" put my hand on hers.She quickly moves it lower from mine. Her head is cocked
towards me. I obviously remove my hand with haste, and apologize. "Oh don't worry, it's
fine," she replies as she goes to return her head to face the window. "It was a bit
awkward though," I spurt, before she has the chance to settle. She turns back toward me
and giggles at my observation. I stop my tongue from throwing out such arsery as "But it
was the most action I've had in ages," and just plow away with a lighthearted
conversation about how busy it gets on this train at this time. It doesn't matter what
the topic is, people enjoy talking to people when they feel comfortable. Especially
people like Sarah, a 24-year-old buyer for a clothing outlet based in the city. We exchanged numbers and agreed to drop each other a line. I
would have gone with the Facebook exchange, but we're underground so I didn't
want to risk not finding her when I had enough phone signal to
search. You can meet anyone, at any point, wherever
you are, as long as you break the ice gently and find something to talk
about. We all like to talk, and share, and discuss things, so every once in a
while it's important to be reminded that this is possible without the aid of a
computer screen. Even if that reminder comes in the form of a slightly creepy
premeditated plan of romance. Now, do I
tell Sarah I have a girlfriend and that this was an experiment, or shall I just not
text her? Hmmm. I'll wait for her to call.
"Is that any good?" I say to the
confused target. I don't turn my head or
point to a specific show. "I'm sorry, are you talking to me?" she responds.
"Yes indeed, now, have you seen this show? I might go," I say without really looking
at her yet. We need to
discussion for our faces to be turned. She is neither warming to my approach nor cold
to it. Just mildly tempted and slightly concerned that I may be a bit mental.
"Do you usually talk rubbish to strangers?"
Yes, you're thinking what I'm thinking aren't
you? I'm in there, she's a bit of a "banter-babe" who likes to poke fun and
playfully argue. Oh my, I can see us tickling each other into submission with
only our sheets to cover us in no time. I smile to myself, and turn to what I expect will
be a cheeky grin with a raised eyebrow. This was not the case, as I turn
to see her place her second earphone from her loud iPod into her
ear. Cheeky doesn't work in London, a place where
boring modern-chick lit novels are set and couples hold hands whilst taking
arms length pictures of themselves near the Thames river.Awkwardness, shyness and borderline Aspergers is what I need here. No bullish
penis-swinging antics, just an awkward moment turned into light chatting is
the key. I have a plan. A variety of unintentional
mishaps is pretty much standard procedure in cramped conditions, but I've
never seen them as a chance to pick up. They are the only things that ever spark
interaction in situations such as this, and even if that is only a nervous
shudder of "Oh I'm sorry," it's still something. I stand in the middle
of a crammed train, holding onto an upright bar and bracing for the journey,
but it seems that a rather pretty brunette has her hand about two inches below mine on
the bar. I look away, and "unintentionally" put my hand on hers.She quickly moves it lower from mine. Her head is cocked
towards me. I obviously remove my hand with haste, and apologize. "Oh don't worry, it's
fine," she replies as she goes to return her head to face the window. "It was a bit
awkward though," I spurt, before she has the chance to settle. She turns back toward me
and giggles at my observation. I stop my tongue from throwing out such arsery as "But it
was the most action I've had in ages," and just plow away with a lighthearted
conversation about how busy it gets on this train at this time. It doesn't matter what
the topic is, people enjoy talking to people when they feel comfortable. Especially
people like Sarah, a 24-year-old buyer for a clothing outlet based in the city. We exchanged numbers and agreed to drop each other a line. I
would have gone with the Facebook exchange, but we're underground so I didn't
want to risk not finding her when I had enough phone signal to
search. You can meet anyone, at any point, wherever
you are, as long as you break the ice gently and find something to talk
about. We all like to talk, and share, and discuss things, so every once in a
while it's important to be reminded that this is possible without the aid of a
computer screen. Even if that reminder comes in the form of a slightly creepy
premeditated plan of romance. Now, do I
tell Sarah I have a girlfriend and that this was an experiment, or shall I just not
text her? Hmmm. I'll wait for her to call.
The 4 Things You Should Stop Doing In Bed
The 4 Things You Should Stop Doing In Bed
Sex is what our bodies were built to do, but at times it can feel so foreign. (Is that
just a girl thing? Yeah? Well, take our word for it, OK?) Maybe this explains why alcohol
always accompanies first dates? Sex is amazing once you’ve gotten into a good groove
with someone, but sometimes it’s awkward, disconnected, and weird. When you go to
bed with an new and unfamiliar woman, there are a few big “hell no-nos” you
should keep in mind so things don’t get off to a confusing start.
Women who are into the whole “daddy” thing are bizarrely over-represented on
film. Pro tip: Most of us aren’t feelin’ it. I was had to deal with an episode
of “daddy talk” during one particularly romantic evening. After a night of
partying, a gentleman and I humped (oh, excuse me, “made love”) on his
disgusting bathroom floor. After 30 seconds of half-baked sex he decided this was the
moment to bust out some full-on Freudian language. If I had a penis, my boner would have
shriveled up inside of me like a grape in the sunshine. Never, ever, ever, do I want to
think of the man who gave me half of my DNA while I’m having sex. I know a lot of
women -- a lot of freaky women -- who are into everything Dr. Laura would frown upon, but
none of them are down with the daddy talk.
Every once and a while some “scientific study” comes out explaining to women
why we are bound to be the weaker sex forever. We love studies like these, they’re
awesome. Just kidding!In the Journal of Social, Evolutionary and Cultural
Psychology one “study” found that men may fall asleep first to avoid
commitment conversations out of the fear of a woman’s superior verbal abilities. "If
men actively avoid commitment promises in post-coital conversation, this could increase
the likelihood of women ending the relationship... Hastening sleep onset may evade this
adverse effect," wrote the researchers. I’d slap you, “science,” but you
may mistake this for a high-five. Look, whether you are gay, straight, male, female, or
Jamie Lee Curtis, passing out after your orgasm without tending to your partner is selfish
and undignified. She may act like she’s OK with it, but chances are she is
definitely not. Sex is give and take, back and forth. You should enjoy giving pleasure as
much as you enjoy receiving and if you don’t, then you need to evaluate how much you
really even really like the person you’re getting naked next to.
If it wasn’t a sexy dream starring us, we don’t want to hear about
Nobody wants to hear about your dreams. Multiply this concept of “nobody” by
a million when it comes to someone you have just started dating. Nobody cares that you had
a nightmare where your fifth grade teacher and a pack of headless geese were chasing you
through an airport. Nobody cares that you dreamed that you were Beyonce’s toilet.
Unless you have some psychic dream that dictates the exact winning numbers for the
lottery, or had a dream where we an all-powerful sex goddess, please keep it to yourself.
Like most moves in the sack, it’s best to test the water before diving in head
first. Introducing a sex toy to the mix should be done with careful, unhurried
communication, which simply means that you should feel out the situation first. Sex is all
about your intuition. Pay attention to her body and don’t be afraid to ask for what
you want. Depending on the nature of your relationship, your ability to communicate will
differ. Trust is the name of the game when it comes to sex. Unfortunately, a lot of people
(especially those who are not quite at their peak of sexual confidence) don’t offer
their desires straight up, so be wise and read between the lines when you need to.
Sex is what our bodies were built to do, but at times it can feel so foreign. (Is that
just a girl thing? Yeah? Well, take our word for it, OK?) Maybe this explains why alcohol
always accompanies first dates? Sex is amazing once you’ve gotten into a good groove
with someone, but sometimes it’s awkward, disconnected, and weird. When you go to
bed with an new and unfamiliar woman, there are a few big “hell no-nos” you
should keep in mind so things don’t get off to a confusing start.
We don’t necessarily want to think of you as our “daddy.”
Women who are into the whole “daddy” thing are bizarrely over-represented on
film. Pro tip: Most of us aren’t feelin’ it. I was had to deal with an episode
of “daddy talk” during one particularly romantic evening. After a night of
partying, a gentleman and I humped (oh, excuse me, “made love”) on his
disgusting bathroom floor. After 30 seconds of half-baked sex he decided this was the
moment to bust out some full-on Freudian language. If I had a penis, my boner would have
shriveled up inside of me like a grape in the sunshine. Never, ever, ever, do I want to
think of the man who gave me half of my DNA while I’m having sex. I know a lot of
women -- a lot of freaky women -- who are into everything Dr. Laura would frown upon, but
none of them are down with the daddy talk.
Remember that sexy time you fell asleep right after finishing?
Every once and a while some “scientific study” comes out explaining to women
why we are bound to be the weaker sex forever. We love studies like these, they’re
awesome. Just kidding!In the Journal of Social, Evolutionary and Cultural
Psychology one “study” found that men may fall asleep first to avoid
commitment conversations out of the fear of a woman’s superior verbal abilities. "If
men actively avoid commitment promises in post-coital conversation, this could increase
the likelihood of women ending the relationship... Hastening sleep onset may evade this
adverse effect," wrote the researchers. I’d slap you, “science,” but you
may mistake this for a high-five. Look, whether you are gay, straight, male, female, or
Jamie Lee Curtis, passing out after your orgasm without tending to your partner is selfish
and undignified. She may act like she’s OK with it, but chances are she is
definitely not. Sex is give and take, back and forth. You should enjoy giving pleasure as
much as you enjoy receiving and if you don’t, then you need to evaluate how much you
really even really like the person you’re getting naked next to.
If it wasn’t a sexy dream starring us, we don’t want to hear about
it.
Nobody wants to hear about your dreams. Multiply this concept of “nobody” by
a million when it comes to someone you have just started dating. Nobody cares that you had
a nightmare where your fifth grade teacher and a pack of headless geese were chasing you
through an airport. Nobody cares that you dreamed that you were Beyonce’s toilet.
Unless you have some psychic dream that dictates the exact winning numbers for the
lottery, or had a dream where we an all-powerful sex goddess, please keep it to yourself.
We may be into toys, but not with a guy we hardly know.
Like most moves in the sack, it’s best to test the water before diving in head
first. Introducing a sex toy to the mix should be done with careful, unhurried
communication, which simply means that you should feel out the situation first. Sex is all
about your intuition. Pay attention to her body and don’t be afraid to ask for what
you want. Depending on the nature of your relationship, your ability to communicate will
differ. Trust is the name of the game when it comes to sex. Unfortunately, a lot of people
(especially those who are not quite at their peak of sexual confidence) don’t offer
their desires straight up, so be wise and read between the lines when you need to.
Your Weekly Peek Into The Mind Of A Hot Girl
Your Weekly Peek Into The Mind Of A Hot Girl
Here at AskMen, we’re all about helping guys. But sometimes advice from one dude
to another can only go so far. That’s why we decided to go straight to the source to
find out what the world's hottest women actually expect from us.This week, we
turned to model, Guy Code TV host (she's also got an upcoming show in the works)
and Maxim's "Sexiest Girl 2010" to make the desires of the female sex a little less
mysterious.What’s the biggest grooming mistake a guy could
make?A big grooming mistake that guys make is
probably getting rid of all their body hair. I think that most girls do like it and find
it sexy, and when it grows back, it's kind of itchy if you're going to cuddle with
them. What’s sexier: the macho alpha male or scruffy beta
guy?I would like a combo of both. I definitely want someone who
takes charge, but I don't want someone who I'm never going to see cry. I want someone who
has some emotions to him.What jewelry is acceptable for men to
wear?I think a watch. That's all you really need. And if you're
married, maybe a wedding ring. But, to me, just a watch. I don't like guys who wear too
many accessories. I want to to be the one who wears accessories. I don't want to trade
bracelets with my man.Biggest turn-on in a guy?Biggest turn-on is a guy who is confident and who knows what he's talking about, who is
intelligent and who is eager to be the best person he can be. Somebody who recognizes that
he has potential and wants to go and do something for himself and make something of his
life. That's a huge turn-on.Biggest turnoff?Biggest turnoff
is laziness. I like when a guy goes the extra mile. I think that's sexy. So when a guy is
lazy, it's definitely a big no-no for me.Who should pay on the
first date?I think a guy should always be a gentleman, but if a girl
isn't interested in a guy romantically, she shouldn't lead him on and let him pay for
everything. What’s the best compliment anyone’s
ever given you?I think the best compliment
someone can give is when you can tell it's genuine, when you're not even looking for one.
Like when I feel I don't look my best and someone tells me that I'm beautiful. It means a
lot to me. Like when I'm not even trying.Would you date a guy who
makes less than it would take to comfortably support a family?I
absolutely would date a guy who doesn't make a lot of money, as long as he has ambitions
and he's looking for something else. I think everybody is given a talent, and once you
find out what that is, that talent will make money for you. So if the guy's not making a
lot of money, it just means he hasn't figured out what he's good at yet. So I would be
willing to help him figure out what it is that he's good at -- help him maximize how much
money he's making. Would you care if a guy picked you
up in a garbage-strewn beater?I'm actually a really fun girl,
and I like to try out different things. If anyone gets embarrassed by the kind of car her
guy is driving, then she's not the girl for him. There's someone out there for everybody,
and that just won't ever be a good match. I don't care about that kind of stuff. I'm from
Brooklyn, NY, and I've been in hoopties and all those different kinds of cars, and it
doesn't matter. We just like to get from point A to point B. I don't even have a
car!One final piece of advice for men in five words or
less: Just make me
laugh.
Here at AskMen, we’re all about helping guys. But sometimes advice from one dude
to another can only go so far. That’s why we decided to go straight to the source to
find out what the world's hottest women actually expect from us.This week, we
turned to model, Guy Code TV host (she's also got an upcoming show in the works)
and Maxim's "Sexiest Girl 2010" to make the desires of the female sex a little less
mysterious.What’s the biggest grooming mistake a guy could
make?A big grooming mistake that guys make is
probably getting rid of all their body hair. I think that most girls do like it and find
it sexy, and when it grows back, it's kind of itchy if you're going to cuddle with
them. What’s sexier: the macho alpha male or scruffy beta
guy?I would like a combo of both. I definitely want someone who
takes charge, but I don't want someone who I'm never going to see cry. I want someone who
has some emotions to him.What jewelry is acceptable for men to
wear?I think a watch. That's all you really need. And if you're
married, maybe a wedding ring. But, to me, just a watch. I don't like guys who wear too
many accessories. I want to to be the one who wears accessories. I don't want to trade
bracelets with my man.Biggest turn-on in a guy?Biggest turn-on is a guy who is confident and who knows what he's talking about, who is
intelligent and who is eager to be the best person he can be. Somebody who recognizes that
he has potential and wants to go and do something for himself and make something of his
life. That's a huge turn-on.Biggest turnoff?Biggest turnoff
is laziness. I like when a guy goes the extra mile. I think that's sexy. So when a guy is
lazy, it's definitely a big no-no for me.Who should pay on the
first date?I think a guy should always be a gentleman, but if a girl
isn't interested in a guy romantically, she shouldn't lead him on and let him pay for
everything. What’s the best compliment anyone’s
ever given you?I think the best compliment
someone can give is when you can tell it's genuine, when you're not even looking for one.
Like when I feel I don't look my best and someone tells me that I'm beautiful. It means a
lot to me. Like when I'm not even trying.Would you date a guy who
makes less than it would take to comfortably support a family?I
absolutely would date a guy who doesn't make a lot of money, as long as he has ambitions
and he's looking for something else. I think everybody is given a talent, and once you
find out what that is, that talent will make money for you. So if the guy's not making a
lot of money, it just means he hasn't figured out what he's good at yet. So I would be
willing to help him figure out what it is that he's good at -- help him maximize how much
money he's making. Would you care if a guy picked you
up in a garbage-strewn beater?I'm actually a really fun girl,
and I like to try out different things. If anyone gets embarrassed by the kind of car her
guy is driving, then she's not the girl for him. There's someone out there for everybody,
and that just won't ever be a good match. I don't care about that kind of stuff. I'm from
Brooklyn, NY, and I've been in hoopties and all those different kinds of cars, and it
doesn't matter. We just like to get from point A to point B. I don't even have a
car!One final piece of advice for men in five words or
less: Just make me
laugh.
Can Laughing Lead To... ?
Can Laughing Lead To... ?
Hi Doc, Something happened to me the other night that kind of blew my mind,
and my girlfriend and I are not even sure what happened. OK. So we were having sex
together. It was a hard ramming session, and both of us were really into it. We were in
doggy style, and
she pulled away to lie on her back to get into missionary because she likes to come
while looking into my eyes. To make a long story short, were in missionary and as she
was coming, I slipped out of her. She then queefed while orgasming. I wasn't even close
to coming, but when she queefed I kind of laughed and then I came all over the place -- a
laughing orgasm. Both of us are not even sure what went down, but just a strange overall
situation. What do you make of all this?- Kevin Honestly, I could make you millionaires if I could get that on tape. The YouTube
hits alone would make you celebrities, and I'm sure we could sell the video. What a
fascinating experience. I hope neither of you feels any remorse or same. These things
happen in sex, and we take the good with the different. While I can't be certain, here
are my thoughts on the situation. Doggy style is
one of the great positions to fill the vagina with air during penetration. With that air
trapped inside there, it’s very natural for the muscular contractions of orgasm to
push out the air in the form a queef or a vart. The laughter triggering your
orgasm and ejaculation is a little more speculative. My guess is either the laugh or the
sound of her queef (or both) triggered your orgasm and ejaculation. People have been
documented to have orgasmic arousal via sound they find erotic. I think it’s more
likely that the laughter is what made you squirt. I read a research paper about a year
ago that described Chinese researchers finding a cluster of nerves in the right nostril
that when stimulated, produced orgasm in some people. A laugh or a sneeze could
definitely bring on the stimulation. It could also have been the muscular contraction in
the core and pelvic region that could have triggered orgasm and ejaculation. The
important thing is not to let this negatively affect you or your partner. Life is too
short to have hang-ups. Just add this to your personal sexual blooper reel, laugh about
it and keep sex and pleasure thriving.
Hi Doc, So I've been
reading your columns and have picked up a couple of good tips that are working with my
girlfriend pretty well. I've gotten over my
phobia and see now that it is actually pretty helpful to use on her clit or her
g-spot during sex. One thing still gets to me is that I have to hold the vibrator. I
would love to have both hands free. Any advice? Oh, and, yes, we’ve tried a
vibrating cock ring and have one of those. Anything else for a clit or g-spot? Thanks,EricWell, aside from growing a third
arm, the options get pretty slim when it comes to hands-free sex toys that vibrate for
clitoral stimulation. There are a few product that lasso around her pelvic region that
look like butterflies or flowers, but those are few and far between. Most toys need a
little hand loving to work the controls or hold them in place against the clitoris or
g-spot. But you're in luck. There’s a little gizmo that can stimulate and stay in
place to allow your hands to roam the fertile prairie and explore her wild
frontier. The href="http://we-vibe.com/">We-Vibe 3 is a product that is shaped like a
“U.” One end is inserted into her vagina for g-spot stimulation and the other
end lies on top of her clitoris externally. It’s hands-free with a wireless remote,
it's waterproof and it grips her body so you don't have to hold it in place. Presto! Hands
are free to pinch, twist, tweak, pull and tickle. What’s even better is you can slide your penis inside her vagina while the
We-Vibe 3 is doing it’s vibrating dance. Your penis will be feeling the pleasure
while your hands are free, her clit is shaking and her g-spot is tingling. I use to own
one of these babies and tried this out firsthand in the name of scientific research. Would
it be pleasurable for her? How would it feel against my penis? Would it be too tight for
her or painful? I'm happy to report the experiment went well. Pleasurable beyond
imagination according to her, and my penis had a great time. As for the tightness, the
report was it felt fine and not painful at all. The vagina can expand and accommodate us
both (us being my penis and a We-Vibe). The only downside to this whole experiment? She
took my toy. I know, I sound like a kid in kindergarten. Maybe I would've bought the
line that she forgot it was still inside her when she left, but who takes the toy and
the charger? Bad karma to five-finger discount a sex toy, but then again, it’s
not like I was going to reuse it with someone else. My guess is she really liked the toy
-- it sure sounded like it.
Can Laughter Trigger An Orgasm?
Hi Doc, Something happened to me the other night that kind of blew my mind,
and my girlfriend and I are not even sure what happened. OK. So we were having sex
together. It was a hard ramming session, and both of us were really into it. We were in
doggy style, and
she pulled away to lie on her back to get into missionary because she likes to come
while looking into my eyes. To make a long story short, were in missionary and as she
was coming, I slipped out of her. She then queefed while orgasming. I wasn't even close
to coming, but when she queefed I kind of laughed and then I came all over the place -- a
laughing orgasm. Both of us are not even sure what went down, but just a strange overall
situation. What do you make of all this?- Kevin Honestly, I could make you millionaires if I could get that on tape. The YouTube
hits alone would make you celebrities, and I'm sure we could sell the video. What a
fascinating experience. I hope neither of you feels any remorse or same. These things
happen in sex, and we take the good with the different. While I can't be certain, here
are my thoughts on the situation. Doggy style is
one of the great positions to fill the vagina with air during penetration. With that air
trapped inside there, it’s very natural for the muscular contractions of orgasm to
push out the air in the form a queef or a vart. The laughter triggering your
orgasm and ejaculation is a little more speculative. My guess is either the laugh or the
sound of her queef (or both) triggered your orgasm and ejaculation. People have been
documented to have orgasmic arousal via sound they find erotic. I think it’s more
likely that the laughter is what made you squirt. I read a research paper about a year
ago that described Chinese researchers finding a cluster of nerves in the right nostril
that when stimulated, produced orgasm in some people. A laugh or a sneeze could
definitely bring on the stimulation. It could also have been the muscular contraction in
the core and pelvic region that could have triggered orgasm and ejaculation. The
important thing is not to let this negatively affect you or your partner. Life is too
short to have hang-ups. Just add this to your personal sexual blooper reel, laugh about
it and keep sex and pleasure thriving.
Is There Such A Thing As A Hands-Free Vibrator?
Hi Doc, So I've been
reading your columns and have picked up a couple of good tips that are working with my
girlfriend pretty well. I've gotten over my
phobia and see now that it is actually pretty helpful to use on her clit or her
g-spot during sex. One thing still gets to me is that I have to hold the vibrator. I
would love to have both hands free. Any advice? Oh, and, yes, we’ve tried a
vibrating cock ring and have one of those. Anything else for a clit or g-spot? Thanks,EricWell, aside from growing a third
arm, the options get pretty slim when it comes to hands-free sex toys that vibrate for
clitoral stimulation. There are a few product that lasso around her pelvic region that
look like butterflies or flowers, but those are few and far between. Most toys need a
little hand loving to work the controls or hold them in place against the clitoris or
g-spot. But you're in luck. There’s a little gizmo that can stimulate and stay in
place to allow your hands to roam the fertile prairie and explore her wild
frontier. The href="http://we-vibe.com/">We-Vibe 3 is a product that is shaped like a
“U.” One end is inserted into her vagina for g-spot stimulation and the other
end lies on top of her clitoris externally. It’s hands-free with a wireless remote,
it's waterproof and it grips her body so you don't have to hold it in place. Presto! Hands
are free to pinch, twist, tweak, pull and tickle. What’s even better is you can slide your penis inside her vagina while the
We-Vibe 3 is doing it’s vibrating dance. Your penis will be feeling the pleasure
while your hands are free, her clit is shaking and her g-spot is tingling. I use to own
one of these babies and tried this out firsthand in the name of scientific research. Would
it be pleasurable for her? How would it feel against my penis? Would it be too tight for
her or painful? I'm happy to report the experiment went well. Pleasurable beyond
imagination according to her, and my penis had a great time. As for the tightness, the
report was it felt fine and not painful at all. The vagina can expand and accommodate us
both (us being my penis and a We-Vibe). The only downside to this whole experiment? She
took my toy. I know, I sound like a kid in kindergarten. Maybe I would've bought the
line that she forgot it was still inside her when she left, but who takes the toy and
the charger? Bad karma to five-finger discount a sex toy, but then again, it’s
not like I was going to reuse it with someone else. My guess is she really liked the toy
-- it sure sounded like it.
What Girls Really Think About Guys With Huge Muscles
What Girls Really Think About Guys With Huge Muscles
What woman doesn’t like a muscular man? Buff arms, a broad chest and strong
shoulders make women feel protected and secure. Guys aren’t doing set after set of
crunches 'cause it’s fun; they know how much ladies love
abs. But there’s a fine line between sexy and skanky. Bodybuilders take a step
(or five) too far by bulking up way beyond any normal standards. By morphing their bodies
into exaggerated -- some might even say grotesque -- shapes, they successfully manage to
gross out women everywhere. I don't know where men got the idea that
is hot, but, trust me, it's not.
Adonis complex, anyone? We’re the ones who are supposed to take longer getting
ready. Primping, fussing and spending two hours in the bathroom is traditionally the
domain of women, and we like it like that. If she’s the wash-and-go type,
she’s even less likely to enjoy your obsession with your appearance. In the book
Adonis Complex, author Harrison Pope details at length stories of women whose
partners became so consumed with getting bigger that they allowed their relationships to
falter. Some of these guys spent so much time at the gym that they rarely saw their
partners, while others simply relished so much obsessive attention on their bodies that
their partners felt invisible by comparison. Either way, it sucked for the ladies.
Ooh, is that a vein? Maybe I can give you a shot! Many men become so infatuated with
themselves they actually forget what's attractive to women. Veins bulging out of your
limbs, neck and even your forehead are just plain gross. Veins are for the Incredible
Hulk, not a normal man.
Sausage -- delicious! But so delicious we like to be reminded of it every time we see
your bare arms? No, not really! Make it rain? More like make it dry. When your insides
look like they’re going to burst out of your skin, it’s almost painful to look
at.
Bodybuilders tend to have gigantic shoulders stacked on top of tiny little waists. We
understand that many men love the idea of a woman with extra-large breasts and a pinched
waist, but the aesthetic does not translate well across the sexes. On a man, the shape
borders on monstrosity. Yes, broad shoulders on a guy are an absolute turn-on, but broad
shoulders are not the same as
shoulders. It’s all about proportion.
To be fair, orange skin tone doesn’t come from bodybuilding, but it does come with
the territory. Bodybuilders are so fixated with looking like Arnold circa 1985 that they
not only work out past the point of normalcy, but they tan so hard they look like burnt
hot dogs. Red, leathery skin should be saved for a handbag.If you enjoy
don't feel like we're singling you out. Women love a fit body.Think Matthew
McConaughey playing the bongos (ignoring, for all intents, the bongos) or Brad Pitt in
Fight Club -- lean and sexy, not big and monstrous. We want someone we can
wrap our arms around, not a guy who’d be able to break our hand by squeezing his
pecs together.
Looking good will no doubt win you points with the ladies. But obsessing about your
appearance and asking your lady if you’re big enough is not attractive. Make sure
you’re in shape, your threads are cute, you smell good, and your hair is combed.
These are the hallmarks of someone who cares about his appearance but isn’t consumed
by it.
There’s nothing like rubbing your hands all over your man. But if he’s
vein-y, ripply and bulging, it’s easy to get turned off. Toned arms and a taut chest
are delicious to touch, but vein-y skin is not. The only thing we should be feeling
besides skin is hair, not veins.
Lightly bronzed is sexy; looking like you’re developing skin cancer is not. Overly
tanned skin ages and looks saggy earlier than unexposed skin. Do yourself a favor and skip
the George Hamilton look for a fresh, natural skin tone.Yes, women like a man
who looks good and takes care of himself. But just like men don’t like a woman who
looks botoxed and slathered in makeup with triple F boobs, a woman doesn’t like a
man who looks like he spends 10 hours a day starting at himself in the gym mirror.
Excessive vanity is not an attractive trait on anyone -- male or female. Do yourself a
favor and skip the extra hour at the gym and get outside and enjoy your life instead.
What woman doesn’t like a muscular man? Buff arms, a broad chest and strong
shoulders make women feel protected and secure. Guys aren’t doing set after set of
crunches 'cause it’s fun; they know how much ladies love
abs. But there’s a fine line between sexy and skanky. Bodybuilders take a step
(or five) too far by bulking up way beyond any normal standards. By morphing their bodies
into exaggerated -- some might even say grotesque -- shapes, they successfully manage to
gross out women everywhere. I don't know where men got the idea that
is hot, but, trust me, it's not.
We admit it, there's a vanity double standard
Adonis complex, anyone? We’re the ones who are supposed to take longer getting
ready. Primping, fussing and spending two hours in the bathroom is traditionally the
domain of women, and we like it like that. If she’s the wash-and-go type,
she’s even less likely to enjoy your obsession with your appearance. In the book
Adonis Complex, author Harrison Pope details at length stories of women whose
partners became so consumed with getting bigger that they allowed their relationships to
falter. Some of these guys spent so much time at the gym that they rarely saw their
partners, while others simply relished so much obsessive attention on their bodies that
their partners felt invisible by comparison. Either way, it sucked for the ladies.
We're creeped out by your protruding veins
Ooh, is that a vein? Maybe I can give you a shot! Many men become so infatuated with
themselves they actually forget what's attractive to women. Veins bulging out of your
limbs, neck and even your forehead are just plain gross. Veins are for the Incredible
Hulk, not a normal man.
The stuffed sausage look is deeply distressing
Sausage -- delicious! But so delicious we like to be reminded of it every time we see
your bare arms? No, not really! Make it rain? More like make it dry. When your insides
look like they’re going to burst out of your skin, it’s almost painful to look
at.
We're confused by your bizarre bodily proportions
Bodybuilders tend to have gigantic shoulders stacked on top of tiny little waists. We
understand that many men love the idea of a woman with extra-large breasts and a pinched
waist, but the aesthetic does not translate well across the sexes. On a man, the shape
borders on monstrosity. Yes, broad shoulders on a guy are an absolute turn-on, but broad
shoulders are not the same as
shoulders. It’s all about proportion.
Your tan shouldn't look like it has a smell
To be fair, orange skin tone doesn’t come from bodybuilding, but it does come with
the territory. Bodybuilders are so fixated with looking like Arnold circa 1985 that they
not only work out past the point of normalcy, but they tan so hard they look like burnt
hot dogs. Red, leathery skin should be saved for a handbag.If you enjoy
don't feel like we're singling you out. Women love a fit body.Think Matthew
McConaughey playing the bongos (ignoring, for all intents, the bongos) or Brad Pitt in
Fight Club -- lean and sexy, not big and monstrous. We want someone we can
wrap our arms around, not a guy who’d be able to break our hand by squeezing his
pecs together.
We love concern, but not obsession, about appearance
Looking good will no doubt win you points with the ladies. But obsessing about your
appearance and asking your lady if you’re big enough is not attractive. Make sure
you’re in shape, your threads are cute, you smell good, and your hair is combed.
These are the hallmarks of someone who cares about his appearance but isn’t consumed
by it.
Smooth skin is sexy, rippled skin not so much
There’s nothing like rubbing your hands all over your man. But if he’s
vein-y, ripply and bulging, it’s easy to get turned off. Toned arms and a taut chest
are delicious to touch, but vein-y skin is not. The only thing we should be feeling
besides skin is hair, not veins.
We love your skin! Don't paint it!
Lightly bronzed is sexy; looking like you’re developing skin cancer is not. Overly
tanned skin ages and looks saggy earlier than unexposed skin. Do yourself a favor and skip
the George Hamilton look for a fresh, natural skin tone.Yes, women like a man
who looks good and takes care of himself. But just like men don’t like a woman who
looks botoxed and slathered in makeup with triple F boobs, a woman doesn’t like a
man who looks like he spends 10 hours a day starting at himself in the gym mirror.
Excessive vanity is not an attractive trait on anyone -- male or female. Do yourself a
favor and skip the extra hour at the gym and get outside and enjoy your life instead.
Turns Out Women Have A Good Reason For Being Picky
Turns Out Women Have A Good Reason For Being Picky
Have you ever been frustrated by not
being a woman’s type? It can be annoying, but
href="http://www.vancouversun.com/technology/Choosy+females+lead+increased+biodiversity+study/6400103/story.html">a
new study suggests picky women are actually key to survival and
biodiversity. Research conducted by the University
of B.C. and the International Institute for Applied Systems Analysis in Austria tested
the merits of the survival of the fittest. We’ve long believed that the strongest
species wins out in an environment, but researchers were puzzled as to why certain
species, say, the hundreds of types of similar fish living in the same water eating the
same food, don’t merge or why one species doesn’t win out.
The reason: The females aren’t interested. The study showed that
women preferred the mates from their neighborhood and found that delving outside of the
community costs a lot of energy. Also, males from other species are often considered
unattractive. As long as basic needs like food were covered, they searched for mates
among their species. For humans, women’s
specific tastes promote diversity and survival. If women universally liked tall guys,
short guys would be heading for extinction. But
women from different cultures, places and backgrounds have different tastes, and as long
as their basic needs are covered, they’ll stick to those tastes. That keeps
survival rates up and diversity flowing strongly.
Have you ever been frustrated by not
being a woman’s type? It can be annoying, but
href="http://www.vancouversun.com/technology/Choosy+females+lead+increased+biodiversity+study/6400103/story.html">a
new study suggests picky women are actually key to survival and
biodiversity. Research conducted by the University
of B.C. and the International Institute for Applied Systems Analysis in Austria tested
the merits of the survival of the fittest. We’ve long believed that the strongest
species wins out in an environment, but researchers were puzzled as to why certain
species, say, the hundreds of types of similar fish living in the same water eating the
same food, don’t merge or why one species doesn’t win out.
The reason: The females aren’t interested. The study showed that
women preferred the mates from their neighborhood and found that delving outside of the
community costs a lot of energy. Also, males from other species are often considered
unattractive. As long as basic needs like food were covered, they searched for mates
among their species. For humans, women’s
specific tastes promote diversity and survival. If women universally liked tall guys,
short guys would be heading for extinction. But
women from different cultures, places and backgrounds have different tastes, and as long
as their basic needs are covered, they’ll stick to those tastes. That keeps
survival rates up and diversity flowing strongly.
The Dos & Don'ts Of Chivalry
The Dos & Don'ts Of Chivalry
This article, by
Robin Hilmantel, was originally published on
Man.
I’m sure Carl (not his real name) thought he was being sweet when he asked,
“Can I kiss you?” But I didn’t. I thought it was cheesy as hell. Unless
you’re a “Carl,” you probably know better than to do dumb things like
request a woman’s permission before you lay one on her, or toss your blazer over a
puddle to shield her stilettos from water. But do you know how other chivalrous moves come
off these days -- which ones women now consider offensive, and which ones possess the
power to (sometimes literally) charm her pants off? You will. Do:
Guide her through the roomPut your hand on the small of her back as
you’re walking together at a party or a restaurant and you might as well be
Clooney in her mind. Just make sure to keep your hand a solid four inches above her
ass or you risk crossing into skeevy-perv territory. Don’t:
Write her a love letterSending her a sappy email about how amazing your
third date was might be cute to her after the first read, but at least one of the five
friends she’ll forward it to will convince her that the note means you’re a
player or a stalker (or both). So step away from the keyboard.Do: Open
the car door for herAny guy can (and should) hold a door open for a woman.
It’s something strangers do for other strangers entering a CVS. But you actually
have to walk to the other side of the car to open that door for us. I’m not saying
you have to do it every time, but on a
a special occasion, this simple gesture can score you major points.Don’t: Insist on paying for everythingOffering to
bill for dinner and drinks when you first start dating is fine. But suggesting that
you fund shopping sprees and mani-pedi appointments? Don’t do it. You’ll come
off like a showoff prick who’s enabling her to become dependent on you for
everything she wants.Do: Move her to the inside of the
sidewalkEvery woman likes to think that you’d rather she not be run
over by an Escalade. Make this move and she’ll know it’s the truth. Plus,
it’s a perfect way to show her your protective side without coming off like a
controlling jerk.Don’t: Let her winThrow the game
and she’ll know you held back and will assume that you’re sexist, or
she’ll believe you’re actually that terrible at arm wrestling or Words With
Friends. Neither scenario makes her want to see you again. However, if you’re
legitimately en route to victory, don’t rub it in her face by running up the score.
That’s just being a dick.Check out more at href="http://www.modernman.com/">ModernMan.com:href="http://www.modernman.com/how-to-buy-lingerie-for-a-woman/?utm_source=askmen&utm_medium=link&utm_content=buy-lingerie&utm_campaign=chivalrous">How
To Buy Lingerie For A Womanhref="http://www.modernman.com/8-everyday-things-guaranteed-to-turn-on-women/?utm_source=askmen&utm_medium=link&utm_content=turn-on-women&utm_campaign=chivalrous">8
Everyday Things Guaranteed To Turn On Womenhref="http://www.modernman.com/how-to-almost-always-win-rock-paper-scissors/?utm_source=askmen&utm_medium=link&utm_content=rock-paper-scissors&utm_campaign=chivalrous">How
To Win Rock-Paper-Scissors (Almost) Every Time
This article, by
Robin Hilmantel, was originally published on
Man.
I’m sure Carl (not his real name) thought he was being sweet when he asked,
“Can I kiss you?” But I didn’t. I thought it was cheesy as hell. Unless
you’re a “Carl,” you probably know better than to do dumb things like
request a woman’s permission before you lay one on her, or toss your blazer over a
puddle to shield her stilettos from water. But do you know how other chivalrous moves come
off these days -- which ones women now consider offensive, and which ones possess the
power to (sometimes literally) charm her pants off? You will. Do:
Guide her through the roomPut your hand on the small of her back as
you’re walking together at a party or a restaurant and you might as well be
Clooney in her mind. Just make sure to keep your hand a solid four inches above her
ass or you risk crossing into skeevy-perv territory. Don’t:
Write her a love letterSending her a sappy email about how amazing your
third date was might be cute to her after the first read, but at least one of the five
friends she’ll forward it to will convince her that the note means you’re a
player or a stalker (or both). So step away from the keyboard.Do: Open
the car door for herAny guy can (and should) hold a door open for a woman.
It’s something strangers do for other strangers entering a CVS. But you actually
have to walk to the other side of the car to open that door for us. I’m not saying
you have to do it every time, but on a
a special occasion, this simple gesture can score you major points.Don’t: Insist on paying for everythingOffering to
bill for dinner and drinks when you first start dating is fine. But suggesting that
you fund shopping sprees and mani-pedi appointments? Don’t do it. You’ll come
off like a showoff prick who’s enabling her to become dependent on you for
everything she wants.Do: Move her to the inside of the
sidewalkEvery woman likes to think that you’d rather she not be run
over by an Escalade. Make this move and she’ll know it’s the truth. Plus,
it’s a perfect way to show her your protective side without coming off like a
controlling jerk.Don’t: Let her winThrow the game
and she’ll know you held back and will assume that you’re sexist, or
she’ll believe you’re actually that terrible at arm wrestling or Words With
Friends. Neither scenario makes her want to see you again. However, if you’re
legitimately en route to victory, don’t rub it in her face by running up the score.
That’s just being a dick.Check out more at href="http://www.modernman.com/">ModernMan.com:href="http://www.modernman.com/how-to-buy-lingerie-for-a-woman/?utm_source=askmen&utm_medium=link&utm_content=buy-lingerie&utm_campaign=chivalrous">How
To Buy Lingerie For A Womanhref="http://www.modernman.com/8-everyday-things-guaranteed-to-turn-on-women/?utm_source=askmen&utm_medium=link&utm_content=turn-on-women&utm_campaign=chivalrous">8
Everyday Things Guaranteed To Turn On Womenhref="http://www.modernman.com/how-to-almost-always-win-rock-paper-scissors/?utm_source=askmen&utm_medium=link&utm_content=rock-paper-scissors&utm_campaign=chivalrous">How
To Win Rock-Paper-Scissors (Almost) Every Time
How To Tell If She's Faking It
How To Tell If She's Faking It
OK, guys, think your wife or girlfriend isn’t
that faking only happens in other people’s bedrooms? Think again. According to the
recently published National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 85% of men said that
their partner had experienced an orgasm during their most recent sexual event, while only
64% of women reported actually having had an orgasm. The implication: Lots of women are
faking it -- and getting away with it.
“Find me a women’s magazine whose cover doesn’t include screaming
headlines about the 764 varieties of orgasm every woman is supposed to be having each time
she has sex,” writes my colleague Emily Nagoski in the href="http://www.goodinbed.com/ebooks/2010/04/female-orgasms/">Good in Bed Guide to Female
Orgasms. “In reality, life gets in the way: stress, depression, anxiety, body
image, performance anxiety (women get it too), sleep deprivation, feeling rushed (women
take, on average, 10 to 30 minutes to orgasm) -- all interfere with orgasm. So sometimes
women fake it.”
The best way to tell if a woman is
orgasms is to know how to recognize the real thing. Signs of arousal become visible
throughout the process of sexual response, particularly during the pre-orgasm phase.So what are these signs? How can you tell when she’s close to orgasm?
Throughout the ages, wise men have reflected upon this question, and in The Tao of
Love and Sex, author Jolan Chang offers us the “indications of female
arousal,” as laid out by Taoist master Wu Hsien:“Her hands are hot
and her abdomen warm, and at the same time her language becomes almost unintelligible. Her
expression looks as though she is bewitched, her body is soft as jelly and her limbs are
droopy. The saliva under her tongue has been sucked dry.”Well, OK,
though today’s man might not notice if “the saliva under her tongue has been
sucked dry,” he is apt to observe:• An increase
in the pace of her breathing• An increase in body temperature
and heart rate• A high state of tension in her muscles
(hypertonicity)• A tightening of the abdominal muscles• A throbbing of her PC muscles and a general “bearing
down” on the pelvic areaAs she releases sexual tension through
href="http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/420_4-tricks-to-make-her-orgasm.html">orgasm,
her vagina and uterus will contract, on average, 10 to 15 times, with each contraction
lasting approximately 8/10ths of a second. Her rectal sphincter contracts anywhere from
two to five times, as well. Attendant to these genital and rectal contractions is the
tensing and releasing, in spasm, of many of the muscles throughout her body, including
arms, legs, neck, and face. Even her toes will bend and arch forward.
While many women can duplicate the characteristics of orgasm, including the contractions
of the PC muscles, it’s unlikely she could manufacture 8 to 10 of these contractions
in less than 20 seconds, especially in combination with all the other visible
characteristics.But, in truth, most women know that when faking it, they
needn’t bother portraying a convincing facsimile of the real thing, when they can
simply offer up a porn-inspired performance of those characteristics that are most likely
to fool and please men: lots of sound and fury, which, in the end, is nothing more than
smoke and mirrors. It’s the screamers and the thrashers who are very often the
fakers. At Good in Bed, we
know that that an orgasm doesn’t come out of nowhere. It’s the final
exclamation point on a sentence that you’ve been writing all along. If the final
flourish feels unearned or out of the blue, then it likely is.
OK, guys, think your wife or girlfriend isn’t
that faking only happens in other people’s bedrooms? Think again. According to the
recently published National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 85% of men said that
their partner had experienced an orgasm during their most recent sexual event, while only
64% of women reported actually having had an orgasm. The implication: Lots of women are
faking it -- and getting away with it.
why women fake orgasms
“Find me a women’s magazine whose cover doesn’t include screaming
headlines about the 764 varieties of orgasm every woman is supposed to be having each time
she has sex,” writes my colleague Emily Nagoski in the href="http://www.goodinbed.com/ebooks/2010/04/female-orgasms/">Good in Bed Guide to Female
Orgasms. “In reality, life gets in the way: stress, depression, anxiety, body
image, performance anxiety (women get it too), sleep deprivation, feeling rushed (women
take, on average, 10 to 30 minutes to orgasm) -- all interfere with orgasm. So sometimes
women fake it.”
recognize the real thing
The best way to tell if a woman is
orgasms is to know how to recognize the real thing. Signs of arousal become visible
throughout the process of sexual response, particularly during the pre-orgasm phase.So what are these signs? How can you tell when she’s close to orgasm?
Throughout the ages, wise men have reflected upon this question, and in The Tao of
Love and Sex, author Jolan Chang offers us the “indications of female
arousal,” as laid out by Taoist master Wu Hsien:“Her hands are hot
and her abdomen warm, and at the same time her language becomes almost unintelligible. Her
expression looks as though she is bewitched, her body is soft as jelly and her limbs are
droopy. The saliva under her tongue has been sucked dry.”Well, OK,
though today’s man might not notice if “the saliva under her tongue has been
sucked dry,” he is apt to observe:• An increase
in the pace of her breathing• An increase in body temperature
and heart rate• A high state of tension in her muscles
(hypertonicity)• A tightening of the abdominal muscles• A throbbing of her PC muscles and a general “bearing
down” on the pelvic areaAs she releases sexual tension through
href="http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/420_4-tricks-to-make-her-orgasm.html">orgasm,
her vagina and uterus will contract, on average, 10 to 15 times, with each contraction
lasting approximately 8/10ths of a second. Her rectal sphincter contracts anywhere from
two to five times, as well. Attendant to these genital and rectal contractions is the
tensing and releasing, in spasm, of many of the muscles throughout her body, including
arms, legs, neck, and face. Even her toes will bend and arch forward.
recognize she's faking it
While many women can duplicate the characteristics of orgasm, including the contractions
of the PC muscles, it’s unlikely she could manufacture 8 to 10 of these contractions
in less than 20 seconds, especially in combination with all the other visible
characteristics.But, in truth, most women know that when faking it, they
needn’t bother portraying a convincing facsimile of the real thing, when they can
simply offer up a porn-inspired performance of those characteristics that are most likely
to fool and please men: lots of sound and fury, which, in the end, is nothing more than
smoke and mirrors. It’s the screamers and the thrashers who are very often the
fakers. At Good in Bed, we
know that that an orgasm doesn’t come out of nowhere. It’s the final
exclamation point on a sentence that you’ve been writing all along. If the final
flourish feels unearned or out of the blue, then it likely is.
30 Ways To Make A Girl Smile
30 Ways To Make A Girl Smile
Want to win her over? Start by making her smile. It's not rocket science, folks.But that's not always as easy as it sounds -- so it's a lucky thing we discovered a
Twitter trend-worth of helpful hints. Here's what we gleaned from
target="_blank">#30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile. -href="https://twitter.com/#%21/SmileNGrace">SmileNGrace-href="https://twitter.com/#%21/EverydayLaVan">EverydayLaVan-href="https://twitter.com/#%21/NotUrAverageTae">NotUrAverageTaehref="https://twitter.com/#%21/NotUrAverageTae">-href="https://twitter.com/#%21/iDeepIove">iDeepIove-href="https://twitter.com/#%21/THEOfficialStix">THEOfficialStix-href="https://twitter.com/#%21/IAmJossh">IAmJossh-href="https://twitter.com/#%21/EverydayLaVan">@EverydayLaVan-href="https://twitter.com/#%21/GMC_Fynest">GMC_Fynest-href="https://twitter.com/#%21/EmelieNordify">EmelieNordify-href="https://twitter.com/#%21/utopiafalls2">utopiafalls2Check out our
You Should Make Sure Never Happen To You for more advice from Twitter.
Want to win her over? Start by making her smile. It's not rocket science, folks.But that's not always as easy as it sounds -- so it's a lucky thing we discovered a
Twitter trend-worth of helpful hints. Here's what we gleaned from
target="_blank">#30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile. -href="https://twitter.com/#%21/SmileNGrace">SmileNGrace-href="https://twitter.com/#%21/EverydayLaVan">EverydayLaVan-href="https://twitter.com/#%21/NotUrAverageTae">NotUrAverageTaehref="https://twitter.com/#%21/NotUrAverageTae">-href="https://twitter.com/#%21/iDeepIove">iDeepIove-href="https://twitter.com/#%21/THEOfficialStix">THEOfficialStix-href="https://twitter.com/#%21/IAmJossh">IAmJossh-href="https://twitter.com/#%21/EverydayLaVan">@EverydayLaVan-href="https://twitter.com/#%21/GMC_Fynest">GMC_Fynest-href="https://twitter.com/#%21/EmelieNordify">EmelieNordify-href="https://twitter.com/#%21/utopiafalls2">utopiafalls2Check out our
You Should Make Sure Never Happen To You for more advice from Twitter.
Your Monday Peek Into The Mind Of a Hot Woman
Your Monday Peek Into The Mind Of a Hot Woman
What's the biggest grooming mistake men can make?Guys really have to be careful with their
thing because I feel like they need to use good shaving products that give them smooth
skin. Because it's not good if a guy is just using soap and water when shaving. It gives
them really bad ingrown hairs, and I really think that guys need to take more care of
things -- like what shaving products they're using, which is really important. I've got
sensitive skin. It needs to be smooth and soft! You gotta take care of those hair
follicles, you know what I mean?What kind of jewelry is acceptable for
men to wear?I think guys can wear, like, a cool bracelet or
something. Like a cool leather bracelet with beads on it or something. I don't mind a
chain around their neck, but not too heavy. You know, just keep it masculine, cool, edgy.
That's always cool. I don't mind that. It all depends on who it is. Jewelry does look good
on dark-skinned guys. A good
man with a cool, big watch. Not too bling-bling, that's the thing. It doesn't have to be
bling-bling diamonds, just cool hardware.What's your biggest
turn-on?Funny always does well for me. I like a guy who's funny. I
like a guy that's adventurous and hard-working and wanting to do things in life, and be
proactive and healthy and positive. That's really a turn-on for me.Biggest turnoff?Biggest turnoff would have to be arrogance and
selfishness. I really hate it when guys are selfish and arrogant -- when it's all about
them. What’s sexier: the macho
male or scruffy beta guy?I like
50/50. I like a bit of alpha; I like a bit of beta. It depends. I like a bit of roughness.
It's almost like I like roughness during the day, but I like them a bit more cleaner
during the night. What's the best compliment you've ever
received?I love it when women compliment me, more so. I don't know
why. 'Cause I'm a girl's girl, and I'm very flattered when men compliment. But I always
like when a women compliments like, "Oh, my god, you're so pretty, and I love your style,
and you've got such great skin."Those sorts of things I really love because
it's from a woman and women are honest. I love that. I love that I can be approachable to
women as well. That's really important for me. Who should pay on
the first date?Them, for sure! They should pay. Because they're
taking the girl out. Just the first night. That's fine. I'm all about 50/50. I don't mind
paying for dinner or lunches. But [on] the first date, [it's] just genuine and old-school
to do it that way.Would you date a guy who makes less than it takes to
comfortably support a family?Well, I've dated a lot of guys that I've
earned more money than. I don't know; it's a tough question. It depends on the person, you
know. You never know who you're going to fall in love with, and I've never really been the
type of person to date someone because of their money. I guess it's always individual,
like whatever makes you happy. Would you care if a guy
picked you up in a garbage-strewn beater?Probably.
Depends on how gross it is. I don't mind if it's an old car, but if it's dirty and there's
trash everywhere, then that's a big sign that he's not the cleanest. I'm a big clean
freak, so I definitely like my men clean and organized. One final
piece of advice for men in five words of less:Just be really honest
at all times. And one last word:Everybody
can get used to seeing more ethnically ambiguous women out there... I love seeing more and
more Asian women out there kicking ass. I'd love to see more of it happen, gracing the
covers of magazines and all that. Guys like Asian women, no? So we can sell mags,
too!
What's the biggest grooming mistake men can make?Guys really have to be careful with their
thing because I feel like they need to use good shaving products that give them smooth
skin. Because it's not good if a guy is just using soap and water when shaving. It gives
them really bad ingrown hairs, and I really think that guys need to take more care of
things -- like what shaving products they're using, which is really important. I've got
sensitive skin. It needs to be smooth and soft! You gotta take care of those hair
follicles, you know what I mean?What kind of jewelry is acceptable for
men to wear?I think guys can wear, like, a cool bracelet or
something. Like a cool leather bracelet with beads on it or something. I don't mind a
chain around their neck, but not too heavy. You know, just keep it masculine, cool, edgy.
That's always cool. I don't mind that. It all depends on who it is. Jewelry does look good
on dark-skinned guys. A good
man with a cool, big watch. Not too bling-bling, that's the thing. It doesn't have to be
bling-bling diamonds, just cool hardware.What's your biggest
turn-on?Funny always does well for me. I like a guy who's funny. I
like a guy that's adventurous and hard-working and wanting to do things in life, and be
proactive and healthy and positive. That's really a turn-on for me.Biggest turnoff?Biggest turnoff would have to be arrogance and
selfishness. I really hate it when guys are selfish and arrogant -- when it's all about
them. What’s sexier: the macho
male or scruffy beta guy?I like
50/50. I like a bit of alpha; I like a bit of beta. It depends. I like a bit of roughness.
It's almost like I like roughness during the day, but I like them a bit more cleaner
during the night. What's the best compliment you've ever
received?I love it when women compliment me, more so. I don't know
why. 'Cause I'm a girl's girl, and I'm very flattered when men compliment. But I always
like when a women compliments like, "Oh, my god, you're so pretty, and I love your style,
and you've got such great skin."Those sorts of things I really love because
it's from a woman and women are honest. I love that. I love that I can be approachable to
women as well. That's really important for me. Who should pay on
the first date?Them, for sure! They should pay. Because they're
taking the girl out. Just the first night. That's fine. I'm all about 50/50. I don't mind
paying for dinner or lunches. But [on] the first date, [it's] just genuine and old-school
to do it that way.Would you date a guy who makes less than it takes to
comfortably support a family?Well, I've dated a lot of guys that I've
earned more money than. I don't know; it's a tough question. It depends on the person, you
know. You never know who you're going to fall in love with, and I've never really been the
type of person to date someone because of their money. I guess it's always individual,
like whatever makes you happy. Would you care if a guy
picked you up in a garbage-strewn beater?Probably.
Depends on how gross it is. I don't mind if it's an old car, but if it's dirty and there's
trash everywhere, then that's a big sign that he's not the cleanest. I'm a big clean
freak, so I definitely like my men clean and organized. One final
piece of advice for men in five words of less:Just be really honest
at all times. And one last word:Everybody
can get used to seeing more ethnically ambiguous women out there... I love seeing more and
more Asian women out there kicking ass. I'd love to see more of it happen, gracing the
covers of magazines and all that. Guys like Asian women, no? So we can sell mags,
too!
5 Ways To Score A Second Date
5 Ways To Score A Second Date
This article, by Chloe Anderson,
was originally published on href="http://www.modernman.com/5-ways-to-score-a-second-date/1/">Modern Man.
According to scientists, men know whether or not a woman has long-term potential within a
few minutes of meeting her. When I first heard that, I felt a lot of pressure to perform
on first dates. But then I realized it’s not the woman who needs to come off well in
that situation -- it’s the guy. After all, if you think she’s awesome, you
need to make sure you can show her you’re awesome enough to go out with again. And
while I can’t make you
well, smell better, or work out more often, I can tell you how to behave on a first
date so that you score a second date.
Women enjoy talking -- studies have shown we tend to communicate verbally more often than
dudes -- so
her questions about where she grew up, what her job is like, what sorts of hobbies she
has, and what her favorite My Little Pony was. Women often naturally take on the role of
an interviewer on dates, so you needn’t worry about it becoming a one-sided
conversation; she’ll still ask you about how you got that cool scar on your chin.
And then you can tell her all about the time you faced down a lion with nothing but a whip
on a circus train hurtling through the desert when you were a teenager.
We notice when you’re short with the waitress, or you only leave the bartender a
measly $1 tip on a $25 bar tab… and then we assume you’re an undercover
assh*le who’ll cheat on us with a stripper. Is that a little presumptuous? Yes. But
this is how our minds work. Being needlessly rude to anyone on date No. 1 can easily sink
your chances for date No. 2, so cover your bases and be nice and generous. (That’s
good advice anytime, actually.)
I know that going Dutch makes sense -- the economy stinks, she has a job just like you,
you may not even know each other all that well -- but if you don’t at least make a
sincere offer to
the tab, you very well may not get a second date. (Hey, we push eight-pound mini
humans out of our vaginas; the least you can do is pay for some chicken and a couple
glasses of wine.) When the bill comes, reach for it immediately and slide it toward you.
If she offers to split it, politely but adamantly decline -- or suavely suggest that she
buy you an after-dinner drink instead. However, if she nearly has an aneurism insisting
over and over again that you split it, just let her; no one wants to have a screaming
match over who’s paying, and besides, there’s a good chance she’s so
insistent because she knows she doesn’t want a second date.
Patti Stanger is the star of Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker, which I’m sure
you already knew since you’re a huge fan of the show. Anyway, she has at least one
piece of good advice: At the end of the night,
don’t give your date a romantic smooch, you have severely increased your chances of
landing in the dreaded friend zone. And guys in the friend zone don’t usually
land date No. 2. I happen to think a vertical, fully-clothed make out sesh on
someone’s couch is the way to go. But if your date isn’t as slutty as I am, go
in for the kill after walking her to her car or front door.
If you make contact the very next day, you risk coming off as too eager. But by the third
day of radio silence, she starts to think she’s never going to hear from you again,
and then she starts to justify why she’s, like, totally OK with that: the slight gap
between your teeth, the fact that you’re a loud breather, the fact that you wore
sneakers on the date. Before you know it, her friends are telling her she can do better
than you. (I know it sounds crazy, but again, this is just the way it works.) So I highly
recommend following the two-day rule; get in touch with her no more and no less than a
couple days after your first date. What should say? A simple “Thursday night was
fun! Do you have plans next Friday?” will do just fine.Check out more at
ModernMan.com:
href="http://www.modernman.com/how-to-be-a-better-kisser/?utm_source=askmen&utm_medium=link&utm_content=better-kisser&utm_campaign=2nd-date">How
To Be A Better Kisserhref="http://www.modernman.com/9-foods-that-tame-a-hangover/?utm_source=askmen&utm_medium=link&utm_content=hangover-food&utm_campaign=2nd-date">9
Foods That Tame A Hangoverhref="http://www.modernman.com/how-to-hook-up-with-a-bridesmaid/?utm_source=askmen&utm_medium=link&utm_content=hook-up-bridesmaid&utm_campaign=2nd-date">How
To Hook Up With A Bridesmaid
This article, by Chloe Anderson,
was originally published on href="http://www.modernman.com/5-ways-to-score-a-second-date/1/">Modern Man.
According to scientists, men know whether or not a woman has long-term potential within a
few minutes of meeting her. When I first heard that, I felt a lot of pressure to perform
on first dates. But then I realized it’s not the woman who needs to come off well in
that situation -- it’s the guy. After all, if you think she’s awesome, you
need to make sure you can show her you’re awesome enough to go out with again. And
while I can’t make you
well, smell better, or work out more often, I can tell you how to behave on a first
date so that you score a second date.
1. Ask Her Questions
Women enjoy talking -- studies have shown we tend to communicate verbally more often than
dudes -- so
her questions about where she grew up, what her job is like, what sorts of hobbies she
has, and what her favorite My Little Pony was. Women often naturally take on the role of
an interviewer on dates, so you needn’t worry about it becoming a one-sided
conversation; she’ll still ask you about how you got that cool scar on your chin.
And then you can tell her all about the time you faced down a lion with nothing but a whip
on a circus train hurtling through the desert when you were a teenager.
2. Be Nice To Other People
We notice when you’re short with the waitress, or you only leave the bartender a
measly $1 tip on a $25 bar tab… and then we assume you’re an undercover
assh*le who’ll cheat on us with a stripper. Is that a little presumptuous? Yes. But
this is how our minds work. Being needlessly rude to anyone on date No. 1 can easily sink
your chances for date No. 2, so cover your bases and be nice and generous. (That’s
good advice anytime, actually.)
3. Pick Up The Tab
I know that going Dutch makes sense -- the economy stinks, she has a job just like you,
you may not even know each other all that well -- but if you don’t at least make a
sincere offer to
the tab, you very well may not get a second date. (Hey, we push eight-pound mini
humans out of our vaginas; the least you can do is pay for some chicken and a couple
glasses of wine.) When the bill comes, reach for it immediately and slide it toward you.
If she offers to split it, politely but adamantly decline -- or suavely suggest that she
buy you an after-dinner drink instead. However, if she nearly has an aneurism insisting
over and over again that you split it, just let her; no one wants to have a screaming
match over who’s paying, and besides, there’s a good chance she’s so
insistent because she knows she doesn’t want a second date.
4. Go In For A Kiss
Patti Stanger is the star of Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker, which I’m sure
you already knew since you’re a huge fan of the show. Anyway, she has at least one
piece of good advice: At the end of the night,
don’t give your date a romantic smooch, you have severely increased your chances of
landing in the dreaded friend zone. And guys in the friend zone don’t usually
land date No. 2. I happen to think a vertical, fully-clothed make out sesh on
someone’s couch is the way to go. But if your date isn’t as slutty as I am, go
in for the kill after walking her to her car or front door.
5. Follow The Two-Day Rule
If you make contact the very next day, you risk coming off as too eager. But by the third
day of radio silence, she starts to think she’s never going to hear from you again,
and then she starts to justify why she’s, like, totally OK with that: the slight gap
between your teeth, the fact that you’re a loud breather, the fact that you wore
sneakers on the date. Before you know it, her friends are telling her she can do better
than you. (I know it sounds crazy, but again, this is just the way it works.) So I highly
recommend following the two-day rule; get in touch with her no more and no less than a
couple days after your first date. What should say? A simple “Thursday night was
fun! Do you have plans next Friday?” will do just fine.Check out more at
ModernMan.com:
href="http://www.modernman.com/how-to-be-a-better-kisser/?utm_source=askmen&utm_medium=link&utm_content=better-kisser&utm_campaign=2nd-date">How
To Be A Better Kisserhref="http://www.modernman.com/9-foods-that-tame-a-hangover/?utm_source=askmen&utm_medium=link&utm_content=hangover-food&utm_campaign=2nd-date">9
Foods That Tame A Hangoverhref="http://www.modernman.com/how-to-hook-up-with-a-bridesmaid/?utm_source=askmen&utm_medium=link&utm_content=hook-up-bridesmaid&utm_campaign=2nd-date">How
To Hook Up With A Bridesmaid
Do You Fit Women's Description Of The Perfect Guy?
Do You Fit Women's Description Of The Perfect Guy?
Many women are looking for
Perfect and now that suspect has a full description. A
target="_blank">UK poll of 2,000 females has narrowed down the
characteristics of what their perfect man is like, and the standards are quite
high. He’s 6'0" with short dark hair and a
good sense of style. He’s earned his Ph.D or master’s,
drives an Audi and makes roughly $76,000 a year. The women in this poll prefer a man who isn’t “too deep” and
keeps the conversation fun and playful. He doesn’t drink wine or spirits, and
he’s not a vegetarian; he's a meat-eater who sticks to beer.
Also, 86% said they want a sensitive man, while 64% want him to say
“I love you” only when he means it. Really? Well, our perfect woman has
Christina
Hendricks’ boobs and
Kardashian’s ass. She’s got some
Wilkinson freak in her tamed by
Portman’s class. Unfortunately,
what’s closer to reality is love handles, stubble, mood swings and scary
in-laws. But, hey, it’s good to dream.
Many women are looking for
Perfect and now that suspect has a full description. A
target="_blank">UK poll of 2,000 females has narrowed down the
characteristics of what their perfect man is like, and the standards are quite
high. He’s 6'0" with short dark hair and a
good sense of style. He’s earned his Ph.D or master’s,
drives an Audi and makes roughly $76,000 a year. The women in this poll prefer a man who isn’t “too deep” and
keeps the conversation fun and playful. He doesn’t drink wine or spirits, and
he’s not a vegetarian; he's a meat-eater who sticks to beer.
Also, 86% said they want a sensitive man, while 64% want him to say
“I love you” only when he means it. Really? Well, our perfect woman has
Christina
Hendricks’ boobs and
Kardashian’s ass. She’s got some
Wilkinson freak in her tamed by
Portman’s class. Unfortunately,
what’s closer to reality is love handles, stubble, mood swings and scary
in-laws. But, hey, it’s good to dream.
Why Open Relationships Can Work
Why Open Relationships Can Work
Originally published on
Hairpin.What's the payoff to avoiding monogamy?A NON-MONOGAMOUS LADY: Why don't we start by casting our minds far, far
back to the world of monogamy?A NON-MONOGAMOUS DUDE:
Time travel!ANML: Flashback!ANMD: Wavy lines!ANML: Why
didn’t monogamy work for you?ANMD: I liked
monogamy! In retrospect, it’s comforting in that it is possible to
not discuss a lot of complicated feelings about your
relationship, and you can enjoy a comfortable, loving union whilst minimizing
territorialness and
comfortableness often becomes complacency. And as the relationship persists, it becomes
unhappier by barely perceptible degrees, and I find myself becoming discontented --
though I’m not sure exactly why -- and I get to a point where I feel that my
relationship is being held together by inertia alone. I take my partner for granted, I
get taken for granted, and we’re doomed. I have a feeling that monogamy may play a
substantial role in this degradation.ANML: It may!
Is it my turn now?ANMD: Lay it on me,
co-skipper.ANML: My experience with long-term
monogamy was similar to yours. I didn't hate being monogamous, and I didn't have a hard
time staying faithful or anything. For me, it wasn't so much that I hated monogamy -- it
was that I LOVED being single. It was a complete amazement to me, how much I loved being
single.ANMD: You had been in a relationship for a
long time, so singledom must have been quite a
revelation.ANML: It was like night and day. I loved
flirting. I loved one-night stands. I loved the feeling that life was full of endless
possibility, and that on any given day I might
or go home with a stranger from a karaoke bar, or hitch a ride on the back of a Vespa and
then kiss the driver.ANMD: (NB: All these things
happened.)ANML: I'm not a very adventurous person
in most ways. I don't have much of a yen to travel. I get agoraphobia if there aren't
enough buildings around. Extreme sports are anathema to me.ANMD: But man -- X-treme sex?ANML: That’s my adventure! I didn’t know it until I was
single, but that’s what makes me feel alive and curious and engaged with the world.
So I was incredibly happy with my life, with no intention of changing it. But then I met
you.ANMD: On the day of our meeting, an eagle
dropped a snake on a rock in Washington Square Park. All sorts of portentous.ANML: I agonized over it. Christ, I didn't want to be in a
relationship again! But on the other hand, I was crazy about you
and wanted to be with you every second!ANMD: This
was reciprocated. My situation was a bit different. When I started dating you I was just
out of a long monogamous relationship, and I was not at all ready to dive into a
similarly monogamous relationship immediately.ANML:
Non-monogamy was the obvious solution.
Originally published on
Hairpin.What's the payoff to avoiding monogamy?A NON-MONOGAMOUS LADY: Why don't we start by casting our minds far, far
back to the world of monogamy?A NON-MONOGAMOUS DUDE:
Time travel!ANML: Flashback!ANMD: Wavy lines!ANML: Why
didn’t monogamy work for you?ANMD: I liked
monogamy! In retrospect, it’s comforting in that it is possible to
not discuss a lot of complicated feelings about your
relationship, and you can enjoy a comfortable, loving union whilst minimizing
territorialness and
comfortableness often becomes complacency. And as the relationship persists, it becomes
unhappier by barely perceptible degrees, and I find myself becoming discontented --
though I’m not sure exactly why -- and I get to a point where I feel that my
relationship is being held together by inertia alone. I take my partner for granted, I
get taken for granted, and we’re doomed. I have a feeling that monogamy may play a
substantial role in this degradation.ANML: It may!
Is it my turn now?ANMD: Lay it on me,
co-skipper.ANML: My experience with long-term
monogamy was similar to yours. I didn't hate being monogamous, and I didn't have a hard
time staying faithful or anything. For me, it wasn't so much that I hated monogamy -- it
was that I LOVED being single. It was a complete amazement to me, how much I loved being
single.ANMD: You had been in a relationship for a
long time, so singledom must have been quite a
revelation.ANML: It was like night and day. I loved
flirting. I loved one-night stands. I loved the feeling that life was full of endless
possibility, and that on any given day I might
or go home with a stranger from a karaoke bar, or hitch a ride on the back of a Vespa and
then kiss the driver.ANMD: (NB: All these things
happened.)ANML: I'm not a very adventurous person
in most ways. I don't have much of a yen to travel. I get agoraphobia if there aren't
enough buildings around. Extreme sports are anathema to me.ANMD: But man -- X-treme sex?ANML: That’s my adventure! I didn’t know it until I was
single, but that’s what makes me feel alive and curious and engaged with the world.
So I was incredibly happy with my life, with no intention of changing it. But then I met
you.ANMD: On the day of our meeting, an eagle
dropped a snake on a rock in Washington Square Park. All sorts of portentous.ANML: I agonized over it. Christ, I didn't want to be in a
relationship again! But on the other hand, I was crazy about you
and wanted to be with you every second!ANMD: This
was reciprocated. My situation was a bit different. When I started dating you I was just
out of a long monogamous relationship, and I was not at all ready to dive into a
similarly monogamous relationship immediately.ANML:
Non-monogamy was the obvious solution.
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